Trick or Trick : HORROR PORN RETURNS YET AGAIN!

Happy Halloween, gang.  It's time to check out the latest collection of buff boys and buxom gals in this collection of blatantly tacky, scary skin epics ... so without further ado, time to break out the remote control and a box of Kleenex as Horror Porn Returns Yet Again:

Bloody hunks and sexy zombies seeking firm flesh abound in Boys Night Out.

Taking a cue from The Queen of the Damned, Wicked Pictures presents Curse Eternal which promises that, "the dead will rise" (see what they did there, aint that clever?)

Yes, yes it's called Queer of the Damned...because they are ... queer and ... uh...they are damned...funny, they look pretty happy all things considered.

Kudos to the producers for really putting some thought into the box cover of A Wet Dream on Elm Street...are those vibrators on Freddy's glove?  Brilliant!

They're here, they're queer, and chances are they suck more than just blood!

So I had to look at this cover several times until I I caught the gag.  That said, great cover - but why not a tad more thought in the title? 

Nekid nasty boys are being spied on, or something like that in the epic, When A Stranger Cums.

Honestly, if I did not know better, I'd have thought this was an ad for a film on The Lifetime Network. 

And last but not least, Dante promises us a hell many of us would probably not mind.

Horror Porn Comes to Haddonfield!

A while back, I posted on the Halloween XXX rated parody that the fine folks at Smash Pictures were putting together, I posted some stills from the film, and remarked on how incredibly good the locations and sets seemed to look.  Well, hold onto your Kleenex and baby oil, wankers, becuase the preview is up and, boy howdy, all things considered, it looks like they did a damn good job!   You'll notice lines of dialouge lifted directly from the original film, and even some stunningly familiar looking exterior shots (check out that hedge!).  Granted, Michael  seems a tad skinny, and his mask appears a bit large for his head, but what the heck, any skin flick that takes this much time paying homage to its source material can't be all bad!

Horror Porn Rises From the Grave...Again!

 

The last time we did a Horror Porn posting, the fine folks at Zero Tolerance films were talking up their latest epic, the Halloween Parody.   Well the wait is over, wankers, and on June 25th of this year, the Halloween Parody was released.  Let's take a look at the offical description, shall we? :

Even Haddonfield Illinois has never seen evil quite this twisted! When Michael Myers (Mark Wood) breaks out of the Shady Knobs Asylum where he's been locked up for years for murdering his slutty sister, Dr. Loomis (James Batholet) becomes so obsessed with the unleashed evil that he gets himself into a sexual frenzy which gorgeous latex-clad Nurse Marion is only too happy to indulge. Meanwhile, Michael is headed straight for Haddonfield where nerdy Laurie Strode (Chanel Preston) is busy defending her virginity against her whorish neighbors Lynda (Lexi Belle,) Annie (Dana Dearmond), and Bob (Kris Slater). Zeroing in on these wanton losers, Michael takes on various Halloween disguises to get in some serious action with his famously huge schlong - but climaxes are not enough to quench his taste! By the time Laurie goes to investigate, she is horrified at the trail of bodies she finds, and finds herself face to face with Michael! Laurie tries everything to defend herself, but it's Dr. Loomis who finishes the job, leaving him finally satisfied that the evil is gone. But is it?

 Best movie title, EVER!

Because the only good twink, is a silent twink.

If you need a porn film that references Deliverance, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Devil's Rejects, you might need some professional help.   Want to know more? 

XXX meets deliverance in this blistering fuckfest from director of the year JACKtheZIPPER. Kane and Audrey Hollander deliver explosive performances as the party girls who take a wrong turn and end up sex slaves on the ultimate hillbilly hellride. An absolute scorcher! And a must see for fans of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Devil's Rejects. Wall to wall orgies, dp's, anal, and pin-up bondage!

 

No hockey masks, no woods, no campers...but check out her hair! 

Yes, yes, I know, The Da Vinci Code was not a horror film (well Tom Hank's hair was pretty scary, but I digress).Be that as it may, when you read the plot of this epic, well, you will understand that genius has left Hollywood and has now taken up residence at PZP productions.

The Priory of Semen, an ancient secret society, finds an ancient scroll that can only be decoded by soaking it with the loads of Leonardo Da Vinci's studly descendants, who must cum on the faces of virgin twinks. There are all kinds of twists and turns along the way as the Da Vinci Boys pop twink cherries from Stonehenge to The Vatican.

Son of the Daughter of the Mother of the Father of Horror Porn

Horror porn goes meta to the nth degree.  Check out this blurb from the press release:  

The plot: a big adult film company is producing a parody of the classic horror movie Scream when one-by-one the cast and crew are being picked off by a slasher with a grudge. Is it Ghostface himself, or someone else taking his place?

“We have created a movie-within-a-movie that riffs on the entire porn parody craze in the same way that “Scream” deconstructed horror films,” says Braun. “Movie fans will not only love the layers of detail the spoof offers but the sex that fills the script. Eli has put together a clever, sexy movie with hot girls, uproarious fun and plenty of thrills — an excellent recipe for great entertainment.”

 This gay porn epic claims to be "critically acclaimed"; by the box cover creator no doubt.

...becuase the original was not outrageous enough?

Best title: Dr. Jerkoff and Mr. Hard. Directed by Wash West (AKA Wash Westmoreland who gave the world the mainstream gay porn thriller, The Fluffer).

Subtle, no?

This one is slated to show sometime in October, check out the press release:

(Chatsworth, CA) Smash Pictures invites you to take a sexual tour through Haddonfield on the most thrilling night of the year in HALLOWEEN XXX Porn Parody! Set to lens soon, HALLOWEEN XXX Porn Parody is an X-rated re-imagining of the classic film. It was thirty three years ago that one of the recognizable horror movies of all time was unleashed and the name Michael Myers became part of pop culture. Now, Smash Pictures revisits that familiar territory with an adult video parody of that iconic film. The nubile babes in danger, the voyeuristic view point of Michael, the sexual escapades of the partying young adults, all elements ripe for parody and to be explored in HALLOWEEN XXX Porn Parody.

“We’re quite excited about this project and are going all out,” says Stuart Wall-VP of Smash Pictures. “I really believe this film will please fans of the original as well as people who want to see erotically entertaining adult movies.”

HALLOWEEN XXX Porn Parody will begin filming in the next few months. To find a porn counterpart to John Carpenter, Smash Pictures looked to award winning veteran adult film director Jim Powers to lens this tribute. Powers has filmed well over a thousand X-rated films and has established himself as a director well-versed in premiere erotica. Powers, himself a fan of the original movie, plans to surprise viewers with the parody. “I’m really going to stay true to the source material,” Powers explained. “It’s rich with sexual overtones that we could utilize. Fans of the movie are going to be thrilled to see how we take the layers of the Carpenter film and have fun with it.”

Casting for the parody’s version of the iconic roles made famous by Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasance, Nick Castle and P.J. Soles will take place next month. Smash Pictures is looking for talent to re-create the memorable scenes. Be it the sexually charged playfulness of Annie Brackett and Lynda Van Der Klok or the dominating presence of Myers, Smash Pictures wants to stay true to the feel of the original. There is also a standing invitation to any of the ’78 Halloween cast to cameo in HALLOWEEN XXX Porn Parody.

The HALLOWEEN XXX Porn Parody boxcover design plays a perfect homage to the movie poster artwork, with its uniquely sexy take. A set of female silhouettes form the unmistakable pumpkin shape, while Michael’s trademark knife is present in the forefront. Even the recognizable tag line is lampooned with “The Night He Came!” The DVD will come specially packaged in a eye-catching Point Of Purchase display for video stores to capitalize on Halloween sales.

HALLOWEEN XXX Porn Parody is slatted, fittingly, for an October release. This Halloween, be prepared for the night he came!

Return of the Son of Horror Porn

Who Ya Gonna Call Fuck?

 Featuring the urban legend about the "gay for pay" actor, no doubt! 

a classic!

Mormon porn?

Rod Serling is turning over in his grave.

Who needs Drew Barrymore? 

"Dear Diary, i never knew vampires had tan lines..."

You know what?  I get vampire-porn, and werewolf porn, but zombie porn...seriously? 

loosely, veeerrry loosely based on American Psycho - nonetheless it does have its, ahem, charms...or so I've heard.

WOW!  Hitch get's the porno treatment...see the trailer below (in glorious black and white, no less!)

Saturday Night Horror Porn Fever

From the 1980's, when The Phantom of the Opera was the hottest ticket on The Great White Way, comes Panting at the Opera ... hey, is that Mackenzie Phillips in the red teddy?

 

Oh sweet mystery of life at last I've found thee ... Hung Wankenstien - I wonder if Mel Brooks gets any residuals from this one?

Not sure what the connection is here, but this gay porn vid is entitled Frankenstein.  And I don't know about you, but I love it when the mad scientist has a tattoo! 

So apparently the monster catches these two gals going at it and tosses them both into a lake ... guess which one floats? 

I guess the monster spends her days at the beach working on her tan.

I've read that you don't have to have seen Cathula I to enjoy this film.

Subtle vampire porn starring the late, great Jon Vincent.

More subtlety.

Classic porn stars playing dress up - twas a dark and stormy night! 

Obviously inspired by the Frank Langella Dracula.

Is she using the woman's head so she can keep her balance in those heels?

The back of the box reads, "They were scared pant-less!"

Probably the best poster of the bunch, at least the production department spent a few moments paying homage to the original  ... and remember, "In the woods, no one can hear you cream."

Movie Poster Madness: The Return of Horror Porn!

True Blood finally got the porn treatment with this little chestnut entitled, Tru.

True Blood love continued with this tasteful gay film, Twink Blood.  This one comes complete with a blooper reel!

"They Suck! They Fuck! They Kill!"  No, it's not a movie about The Tea Party, it's Dawn of the Head.

The star of An Erotic Werewolf in London is the winner of my fave porn star name!

Samara's back, and she's horny in The Taunting.

Probably the classiest box cover for a porno film - The Sex Files II.

Mormon Gals Gone Wild in Twilight of Virginity!

and finally, everyone's fave teen wizard is bastardized, tattooed, and, apparently, given steroids in Whorrey Potter and The Sorcerer's Balls.  Oh, and it's in 3-D to further your viewing pleasure.