Pax's Page O' Halloween Links

This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat till the neighbors die of fright
It's our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween --danny elfman, "this is halloween"

* Homepage of The Dead, the ultimate site for Zombie lovers!: CLICK HERE.
* Craving a good scary movie for tonight? Best Horror Movies.Com can help: CLICK HERE.
* Freak out all of your Born Again Christian friends...send them this link, Samhain.com: CLICK HERE.

* Explore the Fantasy and Folklore of All Hallows: CLICK HERE.

* For all you lazy-asses, here is a place to carve a Virtual Jack-O-Lantern! CLICK HERE

* And for you analytical types, here's How Halloween Works: CLICK HERE

* Read all about the Ancient Origins of Halloween, CLICK HERE

* Halloween is Not Satanic, so sayeth these Witches! CLICK HERE

* What Fundamentalist Christians don’t want you to know about Halloween: CLICK HERE

* A Victorian Perspective on Halloween: CLICK HERE

* A cool listing of the 13 Most Haunted Places: CLICK HERE

* Sorry, no link for this one. Try and seek out the great jazz/scat song, Halloween Spooks by Lambert, Hendricks & Ross, it's a wacky tune by a highly underrated jazz trio from the early 60's.

* They say that Halloween night is the best time to try and connect to the spirit world...The Online Ouija Board makes it easy! CLICK HERE

* Find out what famous folk were Born on Halloween. CLICK HERE

* Imagine dressing up as Chuck Barris, or a Rubik's Cube...yup, here they are a gallery of The Worst Halloween Costumes ever! CLICK HERE

* Behold the greatest Halloween treat of all times, The Food of the Gods: Ladies and gentleman, Candy Corn! CLICK HERE

Have a Marvelous Halloween, All!



Halloween is almost here, and while that means all your fave horror bloggers will be falling all over themselves cooking up posts about favorite monsters, movies, screams and scares, I'd like to ring in the season by paying homage to that confectionery delight that is highlighted this time of the year: Candy Corn...read on and learn.

Anyone who does not like candy corn, can not be trusted! -- Pax Romano

While some sources claim that candy corn was invented by George Renninger sometime in the 1800's; the true aficionado of this confectionery delicacy understands that it has been around since the dawn of time. Even the bible makes mention of it:

From the book of Genesis 002:666 -- And God said, "Let us now make the most fabulous foodstuff , and let us make it in shades of white and orange and yellow, and let us fill it with such sugary goodness it will make men's eyes roll back in their heads, and let us call it Candy Corn". And god made the candy corn, and saw that it was good.

Most of you know the important role that Candy Corn has played in history; the ancient Aztecs used it to trade for goods... the Greeks built several temples out of candy corn... the Romans paid their most prized servants with it who in turn used it to buy their freedom ... the Great Candy Corn Crusade was of course one of the most brutal battles of the middle ages ...and, of course, every school child remembers the story of the Cleveland Candy Corn Party.

During World War II, Candy Corn was in such demand by our troops in The Pacific, special operatives delivered the goodie in dangerous midnight runs -- maybe you read the book about these brave men, The Corn Runners, that was made into an Oscar winning film that starred Clark Gable and Betty Grable.

To truly understand what makes the tri-colored taste treat so special, one only need know the secret ingredients: see chart below

Fun Candy Corn Facts:

* Recently, the USDA has added Candy Corn to its food pyramid.

* Studies have shown that children who get at least three, six ounce, servings of Candy Corn daily, grow up to be well-adjusted, and do better in school than children who abstain from Candy Corn.

* Albert Einstein ate six bags of Candy Corn every day of his life!

* One kernel of Candy Corn has as much protein as a 15 ounce steak!

* During the month of October, some Catholic Churches replace the Communion bread with a special Host shaped piece of Candy Corn.

Finally, if you want to drink your daily dose of Candy Corn: try a Candy Corn Margarita!


They're All Gonna Laugh at You! : CARRIE (the play)

Erik Jackson's comedic, theatrical  adaptation of Stephen King’s Carrie combines gothic with goofy, creepy with campy, and  horror with hilarity . Featuring elements of both King's novel, and Brian DePalma's iconic film version, as well as several original ideas (Carrie's mother sells Tupperware to make ends meet), this low budget production defies the odds and delivers the goods (as well as the laughs).

Horror fans know the story well; Carrie White is a social outcast who discovers that she has telekinetic powers soon after experiencing her first period.  When a cruel practical joke is played on her at the senior prom, Carrie releases years worth of pent-up frustration by bringing the house down on her tormentors.

For this retelling, the titular character is played by a man, and what a man! Erik Ransom is a revelation as Carrie White.  Instead of going all over the top, Ransom creates a gawky, awkward, big-boned gal who wants nothing more than to fit in (as well as listen to Air Supply).  Oddly enough, early in the show, Ransom bears a more-than-passing-resemblance to Amy Irving (who played Sue Snell in the film). 

The rest of the cast is equally fantastic.  Of particular note is Bradley Wrenn who plays All American Boy, Tommy Ross.  Wrenn is a lean, leggy lad who seems less of a star athlete and more of a double jointed match stick - and yet, he makes it work.  His goofy, self absorbed Tommy still means well, and it does not matter if he's outfitted in a pair of skin tight running shorts with knee high socks, or a baby blue tuxedo jacket; he's charming - albeit in a ditsy manner.
Leah Walton almost steals the show as Margret White.  Seemingly channeling both Piper Laurie's version of Mrs.White as well as Andrea Martin, Walton gets the biggest laughs of the show when she starts one of her holy roller diatribes. Her death scene is ALMOST better than Piper Laurie's in the film!

Finally, Bethany Ditnes plays the ultimate Mean Girl, Chris Hargensen, and she runs with the role.  Ditnes squeaky voiced bitch is a black-hearted co-ed in form fitting rainbow sweaters who manages to manipulate her horny boyfriend, Billy Nolan (played by Justin Jain) into doing her dirty work.
With it's use of dozens of top forty songs from the halcyon days of Jimmy Carter, rapid fire jokes, jabs at John Travolta, pig puppets, cheesy special effects, and an oddly touching 11th hour message of tolerance and acceptance; Carrie is a must-see for fans of the novel and the movie. 

If you live in the Philly area and are looking for a fun way to spend a few hours, the show is playing until November 7th.  Get your tickets now and prepare for a fun night at the senior prom!


Horror MovieTelevision DILF : Dexter

Name: Dexter Morgan

Location: Miami, Florida

Occupation: Blood Splatter Pattern Expert for the Miami Metro police department.

Family: Wife (Rita - deceased) Son (Harrison), Step Son (Cody Bennett), Step Daughter (Astor Bennett), Step Sister (Debra).

Why Is He a DILF?:Neat, tidy, fastidiously clean, Dexter Morgan is a caring father to his infant son, Harrison, a loving step father to Cody and Astor, and was devoted to his wife Rita, before she fell afoul of the dreaded Trinity Killer and was found bled out in the family bathtub.  During the day, Dexter is a respected member of the Miami Metro Police department, but by night he is an a avenging angel - a serial killer with a moral code.  He (usually) only kills those who deserve it.  True, his nocturnal pursuits have put some strain on his "straight" life, but Dexter always seems to come away clean with little or no blood on his hands. 

Played by: Michael C. Hall


Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee: THE DUNWICH HORROR

There is really only one good reason to watch Daniel Haller's The Dunwich Horror, and that's for the trippy animated credit sequence (complete with a jazzy / psychedelic Les Baxter score)  that seems to feature a man and a pregnant woman searching for  a place to give birth.  One can not help but see  allusions to Mary and Joseph seeking out a barn ... of course when the hapless animated couple are devoured by a daemon, it's easy to understand that this is not the greatest story ever told - in fact, as the movie progresses, it's more, the dullest story ever told.
Once the credits are over, the plodding story of Wilbur Whateley (Dean Stockwell), and his search for a virgin (to be used for nefarious doings) is told - and what a confusing, convoluted tale it is.  Wilbur's family has a deep dark secret, his mother is locked away in an  asylum, his brother is an inter-dimensional monster who causes LSD-trip-like lights to flash whenever he's around, his grand father walks around all day carrying a staff, and none of the people in the charming town of Dunwich seem very fond of poor Wilbur.  Oh, and he's also prone to stare at you with his mesmerizing eyes.
One day, Wilbur set's his gaze on the virginal Nancy (Sandra Dee), and before you can say, "Cthulhu", she is under his spell, moving into his creepy Victorian mansion, drinking spiked tea, dreaming of being ravaged by colorfully painted cultists and just staring off into space - This is certainly Sandra Dee's finest performance.
look at me, I'm Sandra Dee, lousy with virginity...
 For some reason, a few folks notice that Nancy is missing and they go searching for her, and show up at Wilbur's mansion (which from the exterior, looks like a farm house decorated for a Rob Zombie film).
OK, so a lot of other stupid stuff happens, and eventually Talia Shire (billed as Talia Coppola) even shows up as a gossipy nurse...
Rocky, you can't win!!!! - oh wait, wrong movie.

Finally, the monster brother escapes his room, the mansion burns down, some of the townspeople are killed, Wilbur gets struck by lightning, and Nancy ends up knocked up with what, one assumes, is another monster.  The end.

No doubt about it, this is one lousy movie.  Fans of Lovecraft should be advised that only the bones of his short story are here, and the rest is just all smoke and mirrors...but then again, there is always that groovy Lex Baxter score.


Where ya gonna go? Where ya gonna run? Where ya gonna hide?: THE BODY SNATCHERS

1993's Body Snatchers, while not as entertaining as 1956's Invasion of the Body Snatchers, or as paranoiac as the 1978 remake - is still heads and shoulders above the 2007 version (Invasion).

Director Abel Ferrara took this familiar tale of seed pods from space and placed the action at a military base that seems to be already infected by the nefarious cosmic sprouts well before our main characters arrive.

Once the dysfunctional family arrive (an EPA doc played by Terry Kinney, his wife played by Meg Tilly and their kids played by Gabrielle Anwar and Reilly Murphy) at the housing center on the base, it's already apparent that something creepy is afoot.  Soldiers stare dull eyed at each other, expressionless neighbors wake at dawn to walk small hefty bags filled with Christ-knows-what out to  trash trucks, pre-school children finger-paint the same bland Jackson Pollock-like pictures, the local bar is mostly empty ... the first to notice this is the youngest son who runs away from his kindergarten  claiming that his classroom is full of "bad people". 

It does not take very long for the obnoxious teen daughter (Anwar) to figure out things are wacky, especially when she dozes off in the bathtub and wakes up to find a partially formed double of her crashing in through the ceiling.  Meanwhile, Mom (who has already morphed) is watching as her husband undergoes his transformation.
At this point, The Body Snatchers really serves up the gross out goods.  We get to see how the pods suck the life out of the living via worm-like roots that slip into the body of their host, and we also get a glimpse of the half formed humanoids (look out for that one hiding under the bed!) - but what really makes this moment of the film so tremendous is when Meg Tilly's character explains to her husband that he's toast:  Tilly stares blankly at her now hysterical mate who is trying to gather his family and leave the military base and says to  him, rather calmly,  "Where you gonna go, where you gonna run, where you gonna hide? Nowhere... 'cause there's no one like you left."  No doubt, this is one of the creepiest bits of dialouge you might ever hear.  Furthermore, when the family does take off, Tilly's pod-mom freaks out and let's out with a banshee howl to warn the others that daddy and the kids are still human!
Unfortunately, after this point, the films sort of falls apart - a hasty retreat from the base ensues, bombs drop and a, seemingly, last minute ending is tacked on.  That said, this version of Jack Finney's classic science fiction story is well worth a viewing if for nothing more than the excellent special effects, and Meg Tilly's spellbinding 11th hour performance.


It Gets Better

Today I take a break from the horror stuff and would like to address a problem that seems to be getting a lot of press these days; the spate of recent suicides by gay youth.

You probably have read about,Tyler Clementi, the young man from Rutgers University who threw himself off of the George Washington Bridge when he discovered that his roommate had taped him having sex with a man and then put the video online.  Or perhaps you heard about 13 year old Asher Brown from Texas, who shot himself in the head due to the constant bullying he endured at his middle school.  You might have also seen the story about Seth Walsh, the New York student who hung himself allegedly because of bullying at his school, Seth was also 13.  And then there was Billy Lucas and Raymond Chase...both dead by their own hands as well, both also victims of bullying.

Who do we blame for these tragedies?

The bullies?  Absolutely  - I think that the ones who drove these kids to such tragic ends need to answer for their crimes.  But more than that, it's time to look further;  Religious leaders, first and foremost, have a lot to answer for.  The hatred spewing from the pulpits of such monsters as Fred Phelps (the God Hates Fags creep), Eddie Long (the homophobic preacher recently discovered to have been having sex with several of his male parishioners), and of course, the current Prada Wearing Pontiff.  These men and their followers, as well as the Evangelicals, Mormons and Radical Muslims are all complicit in the deaths of these boys.  

Politicians also have blood on their hands.  Mostly republican fear mongers who count on getting votes at any cost, and if that means denying the rights of gays and lesbians, so be it. If that means denigrating gays and lesbians, so be it.  These hateful fuckers are just as guilty and they deserve to be brought up on charges, every last one of them.

But what can be done, now?

I was in high school in the mid 70's. And if memory serves, I was pretty miserable for some of that time.  I did not fit in.  I was not a jock, nor was I brain, I wasn't particularly artistic, I could not sing to save my life, I failed at every attempt at anything in shop classes ... I really did not have a place.  Oh, add to that the simple fact that my sexuality was in full bloom, and I was lusting after guys.  Sheesh. What a fucking mess I was.  While I was not mocked for being gay (because I hid it well), I was called a weirdo and a spazz as well as several other choice labels.   Now, it seems sort of comical, but at the time, it hurt like hell. When I finally out grew my adolescent awkwardness in 11th and 12th grade, I found that if I  "blended in" I got along just fine.  And that's  what I did.  I donned a suburban costume of  normalcy and sucked it up.  Imagine my shock when in the final months of 12th grade, two of my best friends turned out to be gay!  Imagine my delight when the three of us admitted this to the other just two or three months shy of graduation ... that helped a lot.

As much has changed in the decades since I went to school, the pecking order is probably still the same, and if I had my way, I'd take every single gay boy and girl aside and tell them they are beautiful, important, NORMAL people who will, in time, rise above the foolishness they are dealing with and that they will brush off the dust of their school years and emerge as fully functional adults.  I would tell them that every insult they might have hurled at them now, will be nothing more than a bad memory. Furthermore, I would encourage the gay kids to seek out the other outcasts; the AV Club geeks, the artsy crowd, the theater club...band together and form a majority - in union there is strength.

Unfortunately, I can't speak to every kid suffering due to homophobia - but, if by chance, just one of you is reading this.  Please know one thing: It Gets  Better.  I swear to you that it does.


Movie Poster Madness: The Return of Horror Porn!

True Blood finally got the porn treatment with this little chestnut entitled, Tru.
True Blood love continued with this tasteful gay film, Twink Blood.  This one comes complete with a blooper reel!
"They Suck! They Fuck! They Kill!"  No, it's not a movie about The Tea Party, it's Dawn of the Head.
The star of An Erotic Werewolf in London is the winner of my fave porn star name!
Samara's back, and she's horny in The Taunting.
Probably the classiest box cover for a porno film - The Sex Files II.
Mormon Gals Gone Wild in Twilight of Virginity!
and finally, everyone's fave teen wizard is bastardized, tattooed, and, apparently, given steroids in Whorrey Potter and The Sorcerer's Balls.  Oh, and it's in 3-D to further your viewing pleasure.


October 1st, 2010

“Listen! The wind is rising, and the air is wild with leaves,

We have had our summer evenings, now for October eves!”
-Humbert Wolfe 

Late October - William Thomson (watercolor)