- If a pretty blond offers to blow on your dice for good luck at a casino in Hong Kong, kindly defer her offer.
- Never eat pork in Hong Kong!
- Stop touching your face!
- Typhoid Mary may look a lot like Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Don't touch anything!
- Don't talk to people.
- Avoid public transportation.
- Stay out of restaurants!
- The beefier Matt Damon gets, the better he looks!
- Bloggers may be the only people who will get the truth out concerning a world wide health crisis.
- If you work for the CDC and tell someone something in the strictest confidence,chances are they will blab what you said to someone else in a matter of minutes.
- Lab monkeys will suffer if a world wide epidemic happens.
- Stop worrying about zombies, the living are a hell of a lot more destructive and dangerous than imaginary creatures.
- And finally, society may crumble, but a beefy Matt Damon will survive.
