Billy Loves Stu: goofs

Showing posts with label goofs. Show all posts

10/28/10

For Halloween Season: THE TRUTH ABOUT CANDY CORN!

Halloween is almost here, and while that means all your fave horror bloggers will be falling all over themselves cooking up posts about favorite monsters, movies, screams and scares, I'd like to ring in the season by paying homage to that confectionery delight that is highlighted this time of the year: Candy Corn...read on and learn.

Anyone who does not like candy corn, can not be trusted! -- Pax Romano

While some sources claim that candy corn was invented by George Renninger sometime in the 1800's; the true aficionado of this confectionery delicacy understands that it has been around since the dawn of time. Even the bible makes mention of it:

From the book of Genesis 002:666 -- And God said, "Let us now make the most fabulous foodstuff , and let us make it in shades of white and orange and yellow, and let us fill it with such sugary goodness it will make men's eyes roll back in their heads, and let us call it Candy Corn". And god made the candy corn, and saw that it was good.

Most of you know the important role that Candy Corn has played in history; the ancient Aztecs used it to trade for goods... the Greeks built several temples out of candy corn... the Romans paid their most prized servants with it who in turn used it to buy their freedom ... the Great Candy Corn Crusade was of course one of the most brutal battles of the middle ages ...and, of course, every school child remembers the story of the Cleveland Candy Corn Party.

During World War II, Candy Corn was in such demand by our troops in The Pacific, special operatives delivered the goodie in dangerous midnight runs -- maybe you read the book about these brave men, The Corn Runners, that was made into an Oscar winning film that starred Clark Gable and Betty Grable.

To truly understand what makes the tri-colored taste treat so special, one only need know the secret ingredients: see chart below

Fun Candy Corn Facts:

* Recently, the USDA has added Candy Corn to its food pyramid.

* Studies have shown that children who get at least three, six ounce, servings of Candy Corn daily, grow up to be well-adjusted, and do better in school than children who abstain from Candy Corn.

* Albert Einstein ate six bags of Candy Corn every day of his life!

* One kernel of Candy Corn has as much protein as a 15 ounce steak!

* During the month of October, some Catholic Churches replace the Communion bread with a special Host shaped piece of Candy Corn.

Finally, if you want to drink your daily dose of Candy Corn: try a Candy Corn Margarita!

7/5/10

Start Spreading the News...

Start spreading the news, I’m leaving today

I want to be a part of it - new york, new york

These vagabond shoes, are longing to stray

Right through the very heart of it - new york,

new york

I wanna wake up in a city, that doesn’t sleep

And find I’m king of the hill - top of the heap

My little town blues are melting away
I’ll make a brand new start of it, in old New York

if I can make it there,

I’d make it anywhere

come on, come through New York, New York

* I was watching Cloverfield the other night, and kept thinking about this song...

6/27/10

David DeCoteau's FRIDAY THE 13th II : Where The Dead Boys Are

5/24/10

The movie Chuck Norris hopes you never see: Dr. Leather's House of Torture on Haunted Hill

*THIS POSTING IS PART OF THE CHUCK NORRIS ATE MY BLOG-A-THON

Back in 1973, a rather desperate young actor / martial arts fighter by the name of Chuck Norris was offered a lead role in what he was told would be a low budget horror movie. Eager to make a name as big as Bruce Lee's (or maybe Christoper Lee), Norris signed on the dotted line and found himself contractually obligated to appear in a film that would have the mouthful-of-a-title, Dr Leather's House of Torture on Haunted Hill.

Almost immediately, Norris realized he had made a bad choice. On the first day of filming in Encino California, Norris was perplexed over the seemingly random changes made in the script, what also vexed him was the fact that several sections of the manuscript were missing. Upon speaking to the film's director, George Schultz, Norris was assured that the scenes in question were just being "punched up" a bit by a script doctor. According to insiders on the set, when Norris was told that his first scene was changed, and that he'd have to strip down to his skivvies, and be bound to a bed, he almost walked off the set until Schultz assured him that the entire scene was going to be tastefully shot.

Ever the trooper, Norris obliged his director, and once he was bed-bound, and the cameras began to roll, even Norris could not believe what he was in for. Instantly, Schultz called in "the extras" and the room was filled with ten naked women and ten naked men who surrounded the bed and began chanting in Latin. A cameraman on the set claimed that Norris broke character and said, "What the fuck is this shit, where's my leading lady? When do I get to kick someone?"

Things got even more heated the next day when Pam Grier came to the set and upon laying eyes on her costar was reported to have said, "Who the hell are you? I was under the impression that Billy Dee Williams was going to be my co-star, not some half pint in cowboy boots!!"

Despite the friction, Grier and Norris eventually hit if off, and by all reports got on pretty well. Meanwhile, director, Schultz had other plans. Unbeknownst to his stars, Schultz was under the gun by American International Studios to deliver a money-maker by any means possible. Realizing that his budget would not allow for special effects or more star-power, Schultz decided on inserting sexually explicit scenes in to the film in the hopes that this would bring in more people to the theaters. He even went so far as to hire porn star, Harry Reems as well as two stand-in actors who could pass as Norris and Grier and use them in some of the sex scenes.

The rest of the history of Dr. Leather's House of Torture on Haunted Hill is a mishmash of conjecture and hearsay. Grier has gone on record stating that she had no idea that she was part of a porn film, and sued the director and the studio. However, most film scholars agree that Dr. Leather's most damning moment occurs during the infamous bondage scene, were Norris is tied down and whipped by some leather-clad women and then, seemingly, sodomized by Reems . Norris has claimed that it was his double used in that scene, but Reems and others disagree. One of the film's publicists claimed that she was there the day the scene was shot and said, "My hand to God, Chuck Norris took it up the ass!"

Dr. Leather's House of Torture on Haunted Hill was only screened once - and apparently that was enough. It has been reported that on January 15th, 1974 when the film premiered at The 42nd Street Playhouse in Greenwich Village, half the audience rose to their feet at the film's end for sixteen and one half minutes of thunderous applause, while the other half were outside of the theater screaming for their money back.

Reviews of the film were brutal. Vincent Canaby of The New York Times called it , "A celluloid atrocity". Pauline Kael dismissed it as, "Garbage passing as art", and Gene Shalit went on the today show and called for the "execution of the director and everyone involved".

The alternative press was kinder, The Village Voice claimed, "Everyone should check into Dr. Leather's House of Torture on Haunted Hill, and make sure you get a room with Mr. Norris, he's most accommodating!"

Once the film was pulled, it was reported that Norris and Grier pooled their resources and bought the negative and had it destroyed. Today, neither of them will even acknowledge it's existence. However, last year a copy of the film was reportedly up for bid on eBay, but once the bidding had reached 10000.00, the page was taken down.

Of course, you can't keep a good Hollywood scandal down: last month it was reported that Michael Bay bought the rights to Dr. Leather's House of Torture on Haunted Hill and is going to remake it - the cast has yet to be announced.

3/13/10

Scream, The Prequel

Woodsboro High School - One Week Before the Death of Casey Becker... (click on the picture to watch).

2/18/10

A Bit of Twilight Merchandising I Can Really Get Behind!

Thanks Te*, my life is now complete.

Confused? CLICK HERE.

2/13/10

Billy Loves Stu After Dark Valentine's Special

Well hello there, and welcome to tonight's special Valentine's edition of Billy Loves Stu After Dark. Come on in and have a drink, do you need a light?

We're coming to you live tonight from the 158th floor of Pax Romano Productions in the Penthouse suite.

We've got such great guests here this evening. First, let me introduce to you, all the way from her dorm room, the lovely blogger, BJ-C...BJ's going to be telling us all about her new talk show that will be premiering this fall on NBC, but now, well it looks like she's busy doing the Watusi with Rudolph Nureyev...man oh man, look at that girl dance, will ya? Let's have another drink before I introduce you to the other swinging cats and kittens who are here tonight.

Boy Howdy, that's a damn good gin rickey, isn't it?

Hey, look over there, it's my good pally, and international playboy, Matt Suzaka. Matt's here tonight to talk about his Valentine's plans and his quest to make the Guinness book of world records for amount of women he can seduce in one night, well, from the looks of things, he's got a good start. I think he's doing the Cha Cha with Miss Rhonny Reaper! Look at those crazy kids cutting a rug over there, will ya? Chances are we won't be seeing much of them, cause I think Cupid shot his love arrow into both of their hearts...hello young lovers! Hey you two, be careful, and if you can't be careful, name it after me!

So how's that drink working for ya? Enjoying it? Let me get you another.

Hey ho, here comes the man now, Ladies and Gents, it's the King of Horror Blogging, the Chairman of the Scared, B-Sol! Scobby Dobby Doo, Hey buddy boy, how's about a martini? Later on, B-Sol and I are going to sing a medley of Kurt Weil songs, and if I get him drunk enough, he might just model one of Kurt Henning's old singlets! Uh Oh, did I just say that?! Well did you ever, what a swell party this is!

Let's have a seat on the zebra print chaise lounge while I tell you about the other special surprises we have.

Later on my freaky deaky brother in crime, Te* will be joining us to talk about his latest adventures including the restraining order that was brought against him by a certain Hollywood star; Sean Abley and Vince Liaguno will sing "The Girl that I Marry", and then the entire League of Tana Tea Drinkers will stage a musical production of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho ! Also Carl of ILHM will be reading excerpts from his new book, "Don't Blink, You'll Miss Something", and Aunt John and Unkle Lancifer will show us how to make a Bloody Valentine Casserole!

All this and much more tonight when you tune into Billy Love's Stu After Dark Valentine's Special!

A Musical Interlude for the Day Before Valentine's

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

Make him the cutest that I've ever seen

Give him two lips like roses and clover

Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over

Sandman, I'm so alone - Don't have nobody to call my own

Please turn on your magic beam

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

10/12/09

The Columbus Day Massacre

How did I miss this one?

9/30/09

For the Upcoming Halloween Season: THE TRUTH ABOUT CANDY CORN!

Halloween is a mere thirty days from today, and while that means all your fave horror bloggers will be falling all over themselves cooking up posts about favorite monsters, movies, screams and scares, I'd like to ring in the season by paying homage to that confectionery delight that is highlighted this time of the year: Candy Corn...read on and learn.

To truly understand what makes the tri-colored taste treat so special, one only need know the secret ingredients: see chart below

Finally, if you want to drink your daily dose of Candy Corn: try a Candy Corn Margarita!

9/17/09

MOVIE POSTER MADNESS: Horror Porn III

The hits just keep on "cumming":

It's alive, and it likes to spank nubile young maidens...

I wonder if she sees dead people...

First came, Buffy the Vampire Layer...

but that wasn't good enough...

...so they made Muffy the Vampire Layer .

Then came, Dusk til Porn...

...and since that was also not good enough...

...we got From Lust till Dawn - (til or till, who proof reads these titles?)

Welcome to A Nightmare on Dyke Street

Night of the Giving Head ask's the age old question, "Is any man's penis safe?"

And last, but not least, I Know Who You Did Last Summer ...which doesn't ask, (but should) "Is any man's arse safe?"

9/15/09

MOVIE POSTER MADNESS: Horror Porn II

When last we met, we were exploring the strange world of horror porn hybrids, shall we continue?

This one takes the cake; from the title, The Hole, to the cover boy's bulging banana hammock, you know you are dealing with a class film... here's the description: "The story centers around a mysterious videotape and anyone who sees it has seven days before they turn totally gay. When the time is up, even the most all- American jock becomes a friend of Dorothy." What, no drag queen playing Samara?

The Djinn looks to be the gay porn version of Wishmaster.

Dying to get laid? Come to Blood Lake.

Rob Rotten's Porn of the Dead is a...well...I've seen some of the stills from this one, and can't imagine that anyone in their right mind would watch this for sexual gratification, then again, well, who am I to judge? Take a look for yourself at the link (WARNING, HERE THERE BE SOME PRETTY DISGUSTING STUFF YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED).