Obnoxious college student, Scotty (Rebecca Balding) forget to sign up for a dorm when she registered for classes at Disco Tech University, so she's forced to go looking for a room to rent, and eventually finds one in a gorgeous Victorian house that sits on a bluff overlooking the ocean...
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| cliche' check list: scary nerd with a perky butt (check), brash jewish girl with big glasses (check), obnoxious preppy who wears sweater around his neck (check), flat chested - humorless final girl (check). | |
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... her roommates seem OK, even if the rich kid looks to be pushing 40 ... and the Norman Bates-like son of the owner of the house seems a bit odd...what's most disturbing is that the land lady (played by Yvonne De Carlo) does not seem to have much to say...
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| "don't mind me, dear, I'm just slumming it until The Munster's residual checks kick in again" |
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...luckily, the fourth roommate shows up on his chopper smelling of Aqua Velva, and Scotty thinks this might not be such a bad deal after all...
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| "let me just brush back my gorgeous mop of hair and give you a view of my treasure trail, like it?" |
...soon the happy foursome go out for a bite to eat, but the obnoxious guy ends up drunk and passes out on the beach and is then stabbed by someone. This causes the Aqua Velva dude to go shirtless a lot and make a pass at Scotty...
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| "that's right, I am lean and like to go shirtless so you can view my fuzzy chest!" | | |
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...so while Scotty and Aqua Velva dude are fucking, the Jewish girl gets hacked up in the basement by someone ... luckily, the cops are on the case, and Sgt. Manny Ruggin and his awesome tie (Avery Schreiber and his awesome tie) thinks he's figured out who killed the rich guy on the beach ...
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| "my tie and I have got this all worked out!" | |
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...will Scotty and Aqua Velva guy survive? Will Yvonne De Carlo ever get any dialouge? And what about the crazy chick with the knife, where did she come from?
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| "quick somebody call actor's equity for me!" |
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For answers to these and other questions, go rent The Silent Scream...so bad it's good, and so good it's bad!
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| "did someone request a rear view?" |
