It seems that Alice Hardy (Friday the 13th 1980) and Clay Miller (Friday the 13 2009) had the same hair dresser. Finally, the secret to survival is all about the coif!
Showing posts with label friday the 13th (2009). Show all posts
Showing posts with label friday the 13th (2009). Show all posts
7/5/09
Final Girl / Final Boy, It's all about the hair
It seems that Alice Hardy (Friday the 13th 1980) and Clay Miller (Friday the 13 2009) had the same hair dresser. Finally, the secret to survival is all about the coif!
3/9/09
Questions, I Got 'em
First, a couple of questions about The Ruins:
Why was the hottest guy in the film knocked off fifteen minutes into the story?
Did those "singing" flowers in the Mayan pyramid remind anyone else of this:
Now, a few questions about the American remake of One Missed Call:
What would possess one of my many objects of desire, Edward Norton to show up in this god-awful piece of tripe?And more importantly, why didn't he at least take his shirt off, you know, so I'd at least not feel cheated having sat through this dreck.
Finally, was it me, or was the original version more complex and eerie? Didn't the re-make seem more a-kin to The Ring?
Last question:
Why, oh why, did I waste eight bucks on seeing the dreadful remake of Friday the 13th? This movie is so awful it makes the original seem like Citizen Kane. I am so sick of these movies and the ADHD style of editing and story telling ... ugh, let's kill off Mrs. Voorhees during the
opening credits ... why, god why?Oh wait, I know the answer to this one. I went only because I wanted to see Jared Padalecki on the big screen.
Damn you Jared and your perfect face and long lean body, damn you to hell!!
2/14/09
Saturday the 14th: A Roundup of Voorhees Mania - Blog Style!
Friday the 13th has come and gone, thankfully some have survived to tell their tale ... let's see what the Final Gals and Guys have to say:
- First up, Arby Learns about Hell!
- Final Girl Sees Jason and the Jerks!
- That Scallywag, Unkle Lancifer shares some of his Crystal Lake Memories.
- Vince dissects the recent documentary, His Name was Jason
- JA proves that great minds think alike and serves up his fave Crystal Lake Hunks.
- Camp Blood say's Jason's gone to hell!
2/13/09
13 Fresh Slabs of Meat: The Dead Hunks of Crystal Lake
OK, alright, today is the day that Michael Bay and company release their reboot of Friday the 13th on an unsuspecting world ... blah, blah, blah it's going to make a gazillion dollars and that's that (oh and sex-on-a-stick, Jared Padalecki will be in it, so there's that).
Call me a purist, I liked the old Fridays, in fact I loved the first two films ... you know when it was Mrs. Voorhees knocking off kids, and then her hillbilly sack-head son doing the same (though of course, it begs the question, if Jason was actually alive, why in the hell did his own mother think he was dead??) But I digress.
Presented for your Friday the 13th reading and ogling pleasure, let's take a look at some of the more hunky victims who fell a foul of Mrs. V or her son ...
First up is the tight-blue-Speedo-wearing, Jack (played by Kevin Bacon). Jack was a lanky, leggy lad who loved his weed, his girlfriend and showing off his package in the a fore mentioned Speedo's. Of course Jack's use of illicit drugs and his canoodling led to his demise via an arrow in the neck from under his bed thanks to the resourceful Pamela Voorhees.
Next up is my personal fave: Jeff (Bill Randolph), the hunky, shaggy haired, cocky bastard who was fond of wearing paper boy delivery hats, and wife-beater shirts (to show off his arms) ... he met his end via a spear that impaled both he and his girlfriend whilst they are having it off in Friday the 13th II.
Look it's Andy, Randy Andy from Friday the 13th-3D. Played by Jeffery Rodgers, Andy had the hair, the pout and the body that led me to believe he was actually on loan from Falcon Studios. Boy Howdy, but this kid was one athletic camp counselor ... of course it did him no good as he was sliced in half via a machete while walking on his hands.
Hey Dougie! Wait a second, looks a lot like Matthew Star. Played by pretty-boy, Peter Barton, hunky Doug met his end when Jason, no doubt sick of Doug constantly checking his look in the mirror, crushed his noggin with his bare hands in Friday the 13th, The Final Chapter. Splat, what an exit! 
Cort! Dude! Played by John Travolta's nephew, Tom Fridely, Cort was your quintessential 80's party-boy. With his skin tight torn jeans, his to-die-for-eyes and his love of sex, our pretty boy was doomed from the get go. When he died from a hunting knife to the head, Cort discovered, posthumously, that Jason Lives! 
Poor pretty Ben (who in my humble opinion had the finest bum of any actor in any of the Friday films), played by Craig Thomas met his doom in Friday the 13th - The New Blood (aka Carrie meets Jason) in much the same manner that Doug met his; his head was crushed by Jason's hands. Oh well, we'll always have memories of his sweet bubble butt to soothe us. 
Remember Julius? The tough mother-fucker who challenged Jason to some mano a mano fist-a-cuffs on a rooftop in downtown Vancouver Manhattan. Played by V.C. Dupree, Julius was a pugilist with a mean right hook, but it was no match for Jason, who ends up knocking Julius head off in Jason Takes Manhattan
Officer Randy, the curly topped cutie played by Kipp Marcus, not only is possessed by the soul of Jason Voorhees, he later ends up being done in by a machete through the neck for his troubles in Jason Goes to Hell.
Yes, he's rather androgynous looking, but Jim (Todd Shaffer) was a randy lad who met his end via a spear gun in Jason Takes Manhattan, I've always had a soft spot for this stoner dude, he deserved better. 
Oh Teddy you're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Teddy ... Played by Lawrence Monsoon, Teddy was my kind of punk. Foul mouthed, tough as nails and probably easily had for a six pack of beer and a nickel bag. Teddy died one of the more cinematic deaths in the series; he's standing in front of a movie screen that is showing silent films and is knifed from behind the screen in The Final Chapter.
OK, this is Stoney (played by Yani Gellman), he was in Jason X, and I don't remember how he died, but ain't he purdy????
Don't mess with Bill (Harry Crosby), he might have been the son of a famous crooner, but Bill was handy with a knife in the original Friday (remember when he chopped up that snake?) he also knew how to fix a funky generator ... alas, he was no match for Mrs. Voorhees archery skills.
And last but not least, this guy. I am not sure which Friday he was in, but he looks like some guy I used to date, so he's here.
Call me a purist, I liked the old Fridays, in fact I loved the first two films ... you know when it was Mrs. Voorhees knocking off kids, and then her hillbilly sack-head son doing the same (though of course, it begs the question, if Jason was actually alive, why in the hell did his own mother think he was dead??) But I digress.
Presented for your Friday the 13th reading and ogling pleasure, let's take a look at some of the more hunky victims who fell a foul of Mrs. V or her son ...
First up is the tight-blue-Speedo-wearing, Jack (played by Kevin Bacon). Jack was a lanky, leggy lad who loved his weed, his girlfriend and showing off his package in the a fore mentioned Speedo's. Of course Jack's use of illicit drugs and his canoodling led to his demise via an arrow in the neck from under his bed thanks to the resourceful Pamela Voorhees.
Next up is my personal fave: Jeff (Bill Randolph), the hunky, shaggy haired, cocky bastard who was fond of wearing paper boy delivery hats, and wife-beater shirts (to show off his arms) ... he met his end via a spear that impaled both he and his girlfriend whilst they are having it off in Friday the 13th II.
Look it's Andy, Randy Andy from Friday the 13th-3D. Played by Jeffery Rodgers, Andy had the hair, the pout and the body that led me to believe he was actually on loan from Falcon Studios. Boy Howdy, but this kid was one athletic camp counselor ... of course it did him no good as he was sliced in half via a machete while walking on his hands.
Hey Dougie! Wait a second, looks a lot like Matthew Star. Played by pretty-boy, Peter Barton, hunky Doug met his end when Jason, no doubt sick of Doug constantly checking his look in the mirror, crushed his noggin with his bare hands in Friday the 13th, The Final Chapter. Splat, what an exit! 
Cort! Dude! Played by John Travolta's nephew, Tom Fridely, Cort was your quintessential 80's party-boy. With his skin tight torn jeans, his to-die-for-eyes and his love of sex, our pretty boy was doomed from the get go. When he died from a hunting knife to the head, Cort discovered, posthumously, that Jason Lives! 
Poor pretty Ben (who in my humble opinion had the finest bum of any actor in any of the Friday films), played by Craig Thomas met his doom in Friday the 13th - The New Blood (aka Carrie meets Jason) in much the same manner that Doug met his; his head was crushed by Jason's hands. Oh well, we'll always have memories of his sweet bubble butt to soothe us. 
Remember Julius? The tough mother-fucker who challenged Jason to some mano a mano fist-a-cuffs on a rooftop in downtown 
Officer Randy, the curly topped cutie played by Kipp Marcus, not only is possessed by the soul of Jason Voorhees, he later ends up being done in by a machete through the neck for his troubles in Jason Goes to Hell.
Yes, he's rather androgynous looking, but Jim (Todd Shaffer) was a randy lad who met his end via a spear gun in Jason Takes Manhattan, I've always had a soft spot for this stoner dude, he deserved better. 
Oh Teddy you're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Teddy ... Played by Lawrence Monsoon, Teddy was my kind of punk. Foul mouthed, tough as nails and probably easily had for a six pack of beer and a nickel bag. Teddy died one of the more cinematic deaths in the series; he's standing in front of a movie screen that is showing silent films and is knifed from behind the screen in The Final Chapter.
OK, this is Stoney (played by Yani Gellman), he was in Jason X, and I don't remember how he died, but ain't he purdy????
Don't mess with Bill (Harry Crosby), he might have been the son of a famous crooner, but Bill was handy with a knife in the original Friday (remember when he chopped up that snake?) he also knew how to fix a funky generator ... alas, he was no match for Mrs. Voorhees archery skills.
And last but not least, this guy. I am not sure which Friday he was in, but he looks like some guy I used to date, so he's here.
12/19/08
A Pretty Girl Is Like a Melody
Am I the only one noticing the trend in all of these Michael Bay produced horror movie remakes of late? Mostly it's zaftig women sporting retro eyeglasses...
...or, if the woman in question is not particularly heavy, she is still in need of eye wear.
Here's Leather Face's Mama; young but Rubenesque, and sporting the latest from the Anne Kline White Trash Eye Fashion collection.
With age comes dignity. Notice Leather Face's adoptive mama's tortoise shell specs and, if I am not mistaken, that's a Virgina Slim dangling from her finger tips...
Bee sting lips and no nonsense specs are what the Tea Lady favors ...
...but of course, she's a veritable fashion plate with her blue parasol, Quacker Factory Sack Dress and armadillo accessory.
What's this? Another older woman in cats eye glasses? Yup, this time from the latest Bay remake, Friday the 13th.
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