Horror Films that Every Self Respecting Gay Man Should See: The Fan

 * for gay pride month, part of an ongoing series

Film: The Fan

Stars: Lauren Bacall, James Garner, Maureen Stapleton, Hector Elizondo, Michael Biehn

Director: Ed Bianchi

What's So Gay About It?:  Bitch, please!  A slasher film that takes place on The Great White Way; Lauren Bacall as "the final girl"; a sexually confused, baby faced killer; Maureen Stapleton getting her face slashed; Over-the-top-musical-numbers; Bacall croaking out songs by Marvin Hamlisch and Tim Rice; a plot that seems to be one part "Applause", and one part "Halloween"; James Garner when he was still HAWT; the infamous "blow job scene" that ends rather horribly.

Cool Stuff: OK, this movie get's a lot of grief because the killer is probably gay.  I say, screw that, it's just a movie, and the killer's sexuality seems an important part of his character's motivation - I could not imagine a straight man chasing a middle aged Broadway diva around trying to kill her, unless he was a critic maybe!

Gay Quotability: What's the matter? I've got a show to do in five days, the lighting man appears to be learning on the set, my secretary has been attacked, David is dead, and oh yes their is some fruit cake out there who want's to kill me. Now to satisfy you more will you please get the hell out of here! 

 FOR MORE ON THE FAN CLICK HERE

Horror Films that Every Self Respecting Gay Man Should See: What's The Matter With Helen?

* an ongoing project for Gay Pride Month

Film: What's The Matter With Helen?


Director: Curtis Harrington

Stars: Debbie Reynolds, Shelly Winters, Dennis Weaver and Agnes Moorehead.

In a Nutshell: In the early 1930's, Helen Hill and Adelle Bruckner's sons are convicted of murder.  The women realize that they can no longer stay in Iowa,  so they change their names, and move to Hollywood where they open up a dancing school for Shirley Temple wannabes.  At first, everything is wonderful, but soon, Helen starts loosing her grip on reality and the bodies begin to fall!

What's So Gay About It?:  Bitch Please!  As if Debbie Reynolds and Shirley effin Winters was not enough? Imagine Debbie in Jean Harlow drag acting all slutty; imagine noted closet case, Agnes Moorhead playing a character based on Aimee Semple McPherson; imagine dozens of little brats tap dancing like a fevered dream of Baby Jane Hudson; and finally, and most importantly, imagine Shelly Winters losing her mind and shrieking madly killing fluffy little bunnies as well as various unlucky humans.   Oh, and her character is sort of in love with Debbie's!!!!  This is Shelly in her most jaw-dropping-over-the-top-banshee-from-hell-performance ever!

Cool Stuff: The murderous sons were loosely  based on Nathan Leopold and Richard Loeb.

Gay Quotability: I offered you my blessing. You refused it. Now move along! 

Horror Films that Every Self Respecting Gay Man Should See: The Haunting

* an ongoing project for Gay Pride Month

Film: The Haunting

Director: Robert Wise

Stars: Julie Harris, Claire Bloom, Richard Johnson, Russ Tamblyn.

In a Nutshell: Three people are chosen by a parapsychologist to spend some time in an allegedly haunted house to observe whatever strange events they might encounter.  Breathing doors, ghostly voices, and spectral graffiti greet them; and one of the guests gets much more than they bargained for.

What's So Gay About It?: Bitch Please!  Besides the director who had previously given the world, West Side Story - and would then deliver, The Sound of Music;  The Haunting featured a major character who was not only a fabulous fashion horse, she was also a lesbian!  Claire Bloom as Theo was the sexiest sister of Sappho to come along in like, forever!  Not only was she well coiffed, she was also taken with the film's most disturbed character, Nell (Julie Harris).  Poor Nell, desired by a lesbian, in love with a married man, and carrying around enough guilt to power the entire Catskills resort community  for a season and a half is a hot mess.  In fact, Hill House seems to focus it's demonic energies on her alone, making her more batty than she already is.  Make no mistake, Julie Harris OWNS this movie, and she's one pathetic little time-bomb of pent up sexual frustration and anger just waiting to blow up - happily, that haunted estate is more than eager to assist her to this end.  Oh, and keep an eye out for Russ Tamblyn, who seems to be wearing the same skin tight pants he danced around in from West Side Story - just sayin' is all.

Cool Stuff: This tidbit from IMDB: Claire Bloom was intrigued to the play the role of a woman who was attracted to another woman. She said she got along with everyone on the set, except for Julie Harris, who tried everything to avoid her and not talk to her. At the end of the shoot, Harris went over to Bloom's house with a present and explained that the reason she had kept to herself was to stay in character, because Harris' role in the film was that of an outsider that none of the others understand or will listen to. Bloom was happy to hear the real reason behind Harris' behavior, since Bloom stated that she really liked Harris and could not understand what she herself had done wrong to be treated like that by her co-star.

Gay Quotability: The world is full of inconsistencies. Full of unnatural beings, nature's mistakes they call you for instance! 

Horror Films that Every Self Respecting Gay Man Should See: Hostel

* an ongoing project for gay pride month

Film:  Hostel

Director: Eli Roth

Stars: Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson

In a Nutshell: Two college guys abroad follow their dicks to a hostel that is supposed to be filled with women who love to fuck American men.  Once they have checked in to the Eastern European inn, they are kidnapped and brought to a grimy enclave where rich men pay handsomely to torture, maim and kill college students.

What's So Gay About It?  Bitch Please! Jay Hernandez is a pint sized sexy, pouty lipped, final boy who looks great with a ball gag in his mouth - no wait, I kid, I'm a kidder!   But seriously, as much as I detested this disgusting little movie, I could not help but feel that Eli Roth might have been working through some kind of sick, sexual longings that might have been festering in his head.  Oddly, this movie focuses on men, victimizing other men to satisfy a sadistic urge - clearly the patrons of the Elite Hunting Club are terrified by their sexual desires - but mutilations?  Hey, that's cool.  But back to Hernandez - I might be wrong, but I am pretty sure that the character of Paxton might be the first honest to goodness "final boy"... and he's way prettier than Jamie Lee Curtis .

Cool Stuff: Actually, less cool, and more disturbing: Roth claimed that his inspiration for Hostel came when he heard about alleged "murder vacations" that were available in Europe for wealthy folk with a taste for blood.  Apparently, he could find no one to talk to about this - hopefully it's just an urban legend.

Gay Quotiablity: I get a lot of money for you, and that makes you MY bitch.

Horror Films that Every Self Respecting Gay Man Should See (first in a possible series): Strait-Jacket

Film:  Strait-Jacket

Director: William Castle

Stars: Joan Crawford, Diane Baker

In a Nutshell:  Joan plays Lucy Harbin, a woman who murdered  her cheating husband and his mistress with an axe.  Now, some twenty years later, she is released from the nut house to the care of her  brother, his wife, and her daughter.  At first everything's peaches and cream, but soon, headless corpses start turning up - is Lucy back to her old tricks? 

What's So Gay About It?:  Bitch, please, Joan Crawford is chewing the scenery up so much in this one, she leaves teeth marks on the wallpaper ... check out the start of the film where, through the magic of a Vaseline smeared lens, a 58 year old Crawford is supposed to be a hotsy totsy  broad in a tight skirt and come-fuck-me-pumps ... you are going to love the jangly bracelet that Joan wears whenever she gets to chopping...wait for the scene when Crawford lights a match off a record playing on the phonograph and then, in the same scene,  comes on to her daughter's much younger suitor...and Diane Baker is no slouch when it comes to playing crazy her self!

Cool Stuff:  Crawford was such a control freak that she demanded, and got, Pepsi product placement on the set of the film (Joanie was still on the board of directors of Pepsi at the time). According to TCM's web site, when the producers and director met with the star, this occurred: Their first meeting took place at her New York apartment, where she served Castle and other executives lunch after making them remove their shoes so they wouldn't stain her new white carpet. Then she informed them that before she would agree to make the film, they would have to completely re-write the script to make it a star vehicle. Over the next two hours, she outlined the changes she thought would make the film a "Joan Crawford movie." With her revived popularity, Castle gave in, also granting her co-star and director approval. Fortunately, she agreed to let him direct his own film.

Gay Quotability: "Lucy Harbin, born and raised on a farm.  Parents, poor.  Education, meager. Very much a woman, and very much aware of the fact."