RECYCLED HALLOWEEN BLOG POSTS: The Men of Haddonfield Illinois

*originally posted on 8.18.08

Haddonfield Illinois is so well known for it's most infamous resident, Michael Audrey Meyers, that one wonders about the other sons of this mid-western town.

Wonder no longer; presented for your approval:

The Men of Haddonfield:

This corn-fed son of the Prairie State, who here so proudly flashes his abs of steel, was the boyfriend of the late, Judith Margret Myers. Playful, quick and energetic, this never-named- young-man, quickly brushed off the death of his beloved in 1963 and found fame and fortune as a physique model for Bruce of Los Angeles and later for the Athletic Model Guild.

Don Strode, owner of Haddonfield's premiere real estate company, Strode Reality; Besides being the adoptive father of Laurie, Mr. Strode was a known man about town, and was rumored to be "hung like a horse". Before the tragic occurrences in his hometown, Mr. Strode and his wife hosted key-parties with other Haddonfield couples including The Wallace's and The Doyle's. Most of Haddonfield's desperate housewives (and a few of the husbands) were said to be infatuated with the well hung realtor.

While not an actual resident of Haddofield, Dr. Terrance Wynn, head of Smith's Grove Sanatorium was a known player at some of Haddonfield's hot spots, including The Rabbit in Red Lounge.

While not named, this cute red-head classmate of Laurie's is probably the boy friend of Laurie's nympho pal, Annie. "Oh Paul, we can no longer stall"; yeah we'd all be singing that song as we headed out for a late night date with "old jerko" as Annie called him.

And what about this poor guy? I guess this would be Mister Phelps, owner of Phelps Garage just outside of town. Damn, he was Michael's first victim that Halloween, and nobody remembers the shlub. Well, Mr. Phelps, we remember ... and yes, Michael took his clothes and wore his jump suit for, like, forever!

Could it be? Could this be Laurie's beloved, Ben Tramer? We're not sure, but his hot hair cut, and purposeful stride seems about right. Ben, it's a good thing you never fucked our Laurie, or she'd never have become the original final girl! What a shame he get's toasted in part II!

Sheriff Bracket: Haddonfield's top dawg and father of the promiscuous, drug using, doomed, Annie. Word around town is that Bracket's mutton chops made the lady's knees go weak!

Lest we forget the care-taker of Haddonfield's cemetery. More than likely the town drunk, He was rumored to have had long going affair with the head clerk of Haddonfield Memorial Library.

Woah! Who's the hot cop back there making time with the skirt? We don't know either, but we think he's a big fan of Adam-12 or CHIPS.

Bob! We so totally dig Bob, totally! Don't let those Pondexter specs fool ya, Bob is a sex machine and he knows how to keep his goofy girl friend, Linda happy. If only she did not want a damn beer, Bob would still be boning his way through the gals of Haddonfield.

Oh Mister Sandman, Bring me a Dream....

In Laurie Strode's Bedroom

Ever wondered what you would find in the bedroom of the original "Final Girl", Laurie Strode?

Wonder no longer:

1: The first thing I notice is the James Ensor print on the wall. Ensor was a Belgium painter who created expressionist and surrealistic works of art. Of special note is his painting The Scandalized Masks... go ahead click on the link and take a look - I'll bet that Laurie's brother was fond of this print as well! Ensor had a thing for puppets, masks and skeletons - Trick or Treat!

2: The bloody red heart on the floor can symbolize a lot of things, but I think it's a deflated balloon left over from last year's Valentine's day - Laurie found it strung to her locker and took it home. There was no name, and no one took the credit, but deep down, she hoped it was from Ben Tramor.

3: The bottom drawer of the dresser is where Laurie keeps her passbook from Haddonfield Savings and Loan - Annie was right, she did have a small fortune stashed away from babysitting.

4: The Raggedy Ann doll was a gift from the social worker who took care of Laurie while she was in state custody as a child before The Strode's adopted her. Laurie thinks it came from her grandmother.

5: That's an electric typewriter. Laurie types up all of her term papers, as well as her homework.

6: The globe was an award from the Haddonfield Young Citizen's Club that Laure won when she was in 5th grade. Laurie won the award for her paper on world hunger.

7: That's a photo of two small children, Laurie found it at a flea market a few years ago - for some reason, she felt drawn to it, because a part of her believes she has a sibling out in the world somewhere ... of course, there's nothing to base that on, it's just a hunch.

8: She may be a good girl, but she's also a child of the 70's. Laurie keeps her stash of Blue Oyster Cult 8-tracks and nickle bags of weed in this little case. It has a lock on it so she does not have to worry about her mother looking in.

9: I have no idea what the damn straw hat is all about, but it's just begging to be commented on, so there's that.

10: Stashed in a drawer inside her bedside table you will find, knitting needles and thread, a book on self defense for women, a copy of "Our Bodies Ourselves", and a parcel of un-mailed love letters to Ben Tramor.

The Most Fun You'll Have Watching a Movie: Trick ' r Treat

Warren Valley, Ohio, like its sister city, Haddonfield, Illinois, is a town that really knows how to celebrate Halloween. As a matter of fact, if you stumbled on to Warren Valley's Main Street on October 31st, you might think you are at Mardi Gras or maybe even a Gay Pride parade - it's that much of a party! By now, you've probably read every review of Michael Dougherty's Trick 'r Treat, so I won't bore you with my thoughts on the film other than this: for hell's sake, if you have not already, get your paws on this goodie bag and dig in! It's probably one of the most enjoyable supernatural films I've seen in a long time. Just turn off your brain, and enjoy the caramel coated, sugar infused, bloody good time that is Trick 'r Treat.

As for that other Halloween themed film, I could not help but notice the following:

A virginal lass named, Laurie.

A psychopathic tyke who picks Halloween night to do his dirty work.

And a creepy guy in a white mask.

Of course, things are much different from John Carpenter's classic, but I thought it bares mentioning.

OK, that's it, now go hit up Netflix and rent this fabulous movie, invite the family, the neighbors, everyone you know and settle in for a great time ... oh, and don't extinguish the candles in your jack o latern until midnight ... if you know what's good for you!

COMING SOON: Another Halloween, Another Laurie, and Another Killer Tyke

Going to tackle that cinematic goodie bag known as Trick 'r Treat, and guess what? Seems like somebody might have been nodding in John Carpenter's direction!

Halloween's Coming, and so are The Horror Hunks!

Halloween's coming, kiddies, and the very first sign of it just popped up at Casa Romano via these tacky skeleton straws which I placed into my oh-so-gay Marilyn Monroe tumblers which sit in front of my James Dean salt and pepper shakers. Yes, as a gay man, I am obligated to own trashy pop icon artifacts - really, it's in the rule book!


Also, in honor of the upcoming holiday, Billy Loves Stu will be presenting the Hottest Horror Hunks of all time (and in case you are keeping score, that's a shirtless Matthew McConaughey from the film, Frailty). Stay tuned as we trot out the sexiest mo fo's in horror films who have gone shirtless (or more) for their art.

Fun with Obamacon.Me

The Greatest Halloween Themed Film (of the day)

What tugs at the heartstrings more than a tale of unrequited love?

A lonely young woman strolls the streets of her suburban small town, singing softly, "I wish I had you all to myself...just the two of us", as if she were sending out a magic wish that might heal her lovelorn soul - that maybe her singing might bring her the dream she always dreamt, to have someone special like all of her friends seem to have ... will our heroine get the chance to find true love ? Will Mr. Sandman bring her an autumnal Dream?

Halloween, the Greatest Halloween Themed Film of the day.

Sing Along!

The Men of Haddonfield Illinois

Haddonfield Illinois is so well known for it's most infamous resident, Michael Audrey Meyers, that one wonders about the other sons of this mid-western town.

Wonder no longer; presented for your approval:

The Men of Haddonfield:

This corn-fed son of the Prairie State, who here so proudly flashes his abs of steel, was the boyfriend of the late, Judith Margret Myers. Playful, quick and energetic, this never-named- young-man, quickly brushed off the death of his beloved in 1963 and found fame and fortune as a physique model for Bruce of Los Angeles and later for the Athletic Model Guild.

Don Strode, owner of Haddonfield's premiere real estate company, Strode Reality; Besides being the adoptive father of Laurie, Mr. Strode was a known man about town, and was rumored to be "hung like a horse". Before the tragic occurrences in his hometown, Mr. Strode and his wife hosted key-parties with other Haddonfield couples including The Wallace's and The Doyle's. Most of Haddonfield's desperate housewives (and a few of the husbands) were said to be infatuated with the well hung realtor.

While not an actual resident of Haddofield, Dr. Terrance Wynn, head of Smith's Grove Sanatorium was a known player at some of Haddonfield's hot spots, including The Rabbit in Red Lounge.

While not named, this cute red-head classmate of Laurie's is probably the boy friend of Laurie's nympho pal, Annie. "Oh Paul, we can no longer stall"; yeah we'd all be singing that song as we headed out for a late night date with "old jerko" as Annie called him.

And what about this poor guy? I guess this would be Mister Phelps, owner of Phelps Garage just outside of town. Damn, he was Michael's first victim that Halloween, and nobody remembers the shlub. Well, Mr. Phelps, we remember ... and yes, Michael took his clothes and wore his jump suit for, like, forever!

Could it be? Could this be Laurie's beloved, Ben Tramer? We're not sure, but his hot hair cut, and purposeful stride seems about right. Ben, it's a good thing you never fucked our Laurie, or she'd never have become the original final girl! What a shame he get's toasted in part II!

Sheriff Bracket: Haddonfield's top dawg and father of the promiscuous, drug using, doomed, Annie. Word around town is that Bracket's mutton chops made the lady's knees go weak!

Lest we forget the care-taker of Haddonfield's cemetery. More than likely the town drunk, He was rumored to have had long going affair with the head clerk of Haddonfield Memorial Library.

Woah! Who's the hot cop back there making time with the skirt? We don't know either, but we think he's a big fan of Adam-12 or CHIPS.

Bob! We so totally dig Bob, totally! Don't let those Pondexter specs fool ya, Bob is a sex machine and he knows how to keep his goofy girl friend, Linda happy. If only she did not want a damn beer, Bob would still be boning his way through the gals of Haddonfield.

Oh Mister Sandman, Bring me a Dream....

Who's Your Psycho-Brother?

Haddonfield, Illinois's favorite son, Michael Myers, has been played by seven actors so far (nine if you count the two moppets who played him as a little boy in the original and Rob Zombie's ill advised remake). In all , the strong but silent knife welding galoot, with a thing for his older sister, has appeared in all but one of the Halloween Films (Halloween 3 - The Season of the Witch).

In the original, Michael was actually played by three actors. Will Sandon played the six year old Michael, Nick Castle played the stalking version (The Shape) and Tony Moran played the adult Michael Myers who is revealed momentarily by Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) when she tries to yank his mask off. With the exception of his bloody eye, this Michael looked pretty hot.

In the sequel, Nick Castle once more donned the mask and played Michael like some unstoppable force of nature who stalks Haddonfield Memorial Hospital once more, seeking his sister until he is finally put down (or so it seems) by Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence), several tanks of explosive gas, and a Bic Lighter. While this Michael seemed more focused, it's a good thing he kept his mask on.

As mentioned, Halloween 3, The Season of the Witch did not feature Michael -- but fear not, several years later, Michael was back in the subtly titled, Halloween 4 - The Return of Michael Myers.

With the release of Halloween 4... it was obvious that the series was on a major slide into the ridiculous. Featuring a ludicrous script concerning Michael waking from a coma to hunt down his niece (!) - Michael had gone from a bogey man to a scary uncle. It seems only fitting that he was played by the avuncular, George Wilbur.

If part 4 was ridiculous, the follow up, Halloween 5, The Revenge of Michael Myers was even worse. Here we have Michael still in pursuit of his little niece, Jamie (Danielle Harris) who seems to now have some kind of telepathic radar system that keeps her Uncle Mikey and her in constant touch. Oddly enough at the end of this movie, after Michael is arrested by Haddonfield's finest, a man with a tattoo on his wrist shows up and frees him from jail because...well it's all sort of explained in Part 6 (sort of). Here Mike is played by Native American, Don Shanks.

Rock bottom finally comes with Halloween 6, The Curse of Michael Myers where we discover that Mikey is a victim of some old curse that can only be rectified if the victim of said curse kills off the last of his family's bloodline. What's even more bizarre is that it turns out that their is some kind of conspiracy going on and it involves some of Haddonfield's movers and shakers as well as a hidden area of Haddonfield Memorial Hospital ... and ah, skip it, this is probably one of the worst of the franchise and it pretty much derailed the series for a bit. Once again, Mike is played by George Wilbur.

The rebirth of Halloween came with H2O, Halloween Twenty Years Later. Forget the last few ludicrous films, H2O finds Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) alive and well and living under the name of Kerri Tate, the headmistress of an exclusive private school in Northern California. Twenty years have passed since that fateful night in Haddonfield, but Strode is still haunted by dreams of her brother, and faster than you can say, Mister Sandman, bring me a dream, Michael finds his way back to finish up what he started. However, he did not count on his sister being so handy with an axe! Michael is played by strapping stunt man, Chris Durand in this epic (my second favorite of the entire series).

Smelling money, yet another Halloween was cranked out a year or so later. Entitled Halloween: Resurrection, this movie destroys everything we thought we learned in the previous film, we discover that Laurie did not actually kill her brother, no, she actually killed an innocent man, and has spent the past few years of her life in an asylum, blah, blah, blah, Michael comes back and kills her and then goes back to Haddonfield and Tyra Banks and a bunch of other morons are making some kind of reality show at the old Myers house, a lot of people get killed and -- well, I never made it to the end of this film. As horrid as it was, the extremely handsome Brad Loree was the killer this time, and of course we never get to see his gorgeous face.

Boy Howdy, take a look at that puss! I think we have a winner for the hottest Michael Myers!

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!

I'd be remiss not to mention Rob Zombie's abomination; his version of Halloween, a film that gave us an exhaustive back story of why Michael became a serial killer. Michael was raised by a stripper mother, had an evil step father, and his eldest sister was something of the town slut. In classic Zombie style we get a lot of flash and no substance. Anyway, this time Michael was played professional wrestler, Tyler Mane. Not much else to say about this movie, other than it was dreadful.