3/29/10

Movie Poster Madness: Flesh, It's What's For Dinner

A brilliant, pitch dark comedy set in the Eisenhower Era about an Ozzie and Harriet couple who happen to be cannibals! What do you mean you've never seen it?
As always, John Waters was way ahead of the pack with this twisted fairy tale that ends with the citizens of Mortville feasting on the corpse of their disposed matriarch, the evil Queen Carlotta (played by the legendary  Edith Massey).  What do you mean you've never heard of it?

Not a horror film, but a deeply disturbing tale of revenge , best line (uttered as a woman is serving up her dead lover as dinner to her husband), "Start with the cock, you know where it's been".
Another non horror film; a brilliant black comedy about a couple who pose as swingers and kill the horny bastards who come to their apartment, steal their wallets, and sell their bodies to a dog food manufacturer.  And yes, Raoul does become the main course by film's end. 

3/28/10

ADD Film Review: Sorority Row

Set at the same college sorority house where Hugh Hefner shops for new play-mates, Sorority Row tells the tale of a practical joke that goes wrong.  Several months after the fatal joke, people start turning up dead.  Is it revenge from beyond the grave?  Is it a crazy outsider?  Is it someone who has seen too many slasher films?  

Who cares?   Frankly, I was rooting for the killer in this one as the six sexy sorority sisters are a lame bunch of airheads and all deserved to die.  Carrie Fisher (as the house mother) brings some much needed camp value to this one, I wish she had turned out to be the killer, or the final girl.

The murders are creative, the plot is full of  holes so big you could drive a station wagon full of pretty, white co-eds through it.   Still, one could do worse than this film, it's a silly, stupid, fun ride.

3/27/10

Penn Badgley's Contract Stipulated He Be Shirtless in 40% of The Stepfather

Penn Badgley is a cute little veal chop, no denying that - and in the dreadful remake of The Stepfather he stepped into the same role that Jill Schoelen made famous in the 1987 version.  That said, I don't recall Schoelen showing this much flesh...
...as for his acting, well, that is, hey no wonder he kept taking his shirt off!

3/25/10

Movie Poster Madness: Big Breasted Women of the 50's in Peril EDITION

She loved him for his brains...
 The beast made her swoon
She needs RID.
Another swooning lass.
The Creature likes a gal in a one piece.
 Seems he went on to prefer them in silky numbers.
And finally, the Monster on Campus likes gals in flowing nighties.


3/21/10

Survival of the Dead


I was lucky enough to get a sneak peek at George A. Romero's Survival of the Dead today, and I am happy to report that I loved it - of course, that does not mean you will.

Romero, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, has opted to mash-up a few different genres this go - around, and concocted a movie that's tough to pin down.  Oh sure, the zombies are here, humanity is falling apart, that's a given - but as usual, Uncle Georgie is much more concerned with the human condition than the walking dead's condition (well other than the fact that they are walking dead).

Borrowing largely from the Western, The Big Country, the film's plot concerns itself with two warring family patriarchs who live on a small island off the coast of Delaware.  Said father figures are at odds over what to do with the zombies; keep them around until they see the error of their ways, or just shoot 'em in the head.  Into this uneasy situation comes a small group of soldiers (as well as a young man tagging along), and before too long, sides are chosen and the fun begins.

I must confess my first question was: Why are  people who live off the coast of Delaware all speaking in thick Irish brogues?   And furthermore, what's up with all of the horses and the somewhat archaic atmosphere of this place?  But it does not take long to realize that Romero wanted to fuck with the viewers sense of time and place. . . to sort of shake the audience out of what he or she might expect and introduce them to a world where Irish immigrants never loose their accents, where a bucolic settlement can thrive in the 21st century, where many of the people dress like they just wandered out of a staging of High Noon, and where people (and one zombie) use horses as the primary means of transportation - it's called "suspension of disbelief"...I mean if you can buy flesh eating zombies, why can't you buy into this skewered environment?

But fear not, Survival of the Dead is not all Sweet Rosie O' Grady and spurs that jingle jangle.  Early on, we get the social commentary that we've come to expect from Romero.  In one of the film's eeriest scenes, someone comes across the work of a group of red-neck survivalists who claim they were being chased by a group of zombies.  The hillbilly's beheaded all of the ghouls and spike their noggins on poles in the woods.  At first this scene might seem creepy, but upon further inspection, when you notice that all of the heads are African American, it's  disturbing on a whole other level.
There is also some humor in this one.  From the zombie done in by the fire extinguisher, to the teen male bemoaning the fact that his mp3 player no longer works and he is forced to find music on vinyl (gasp!) to the flaming head of a ghoul used to light a cigarette.
I also could not help but notice that midway through the film, when the soldiers hole up at town hall, it's clear that place was set up for a wedding complete with tacky decorations and a rotted wedding cake - the only thing missing was a zombiefied Miss Havisham.  Maybe I was reading too much into things here, but that whole bit seemed Dickensian in nature.
For the gore-hounds out there (and you know who you are), Survival of the Dead does not disappoint. You'll find plenty of disembowelment's,  splattered guts and gaping wounds.  And as for the zombies; well they are everywhere.  I was especially creeped-out by the underwater ghouls ( a nod to Shock Waves?).  
In the end, Survival of the Dead is more a tale of the weakness of humans, as opposed to the durability of mankind. Like always, we are our own worst enemy (see the Tea Party movement for proof) ; we are more interested in proving who is right instead of what is right.  We will kill each other rather than compromise, or see a different point of view, and that, my friend, is why we loose, and why, in this film's universe the only survival can be that of the dead.

3/19/10

ADD Film Review: The Final Destination

Once again, death goes on a working holiday and seeks out some attractive twenty-somethings that it will deploy through a series of Rube Goldberg-like machinations.   Many of the killings are creative, and you Chuck Palahniuk fans might find the swimming pool death somewhat reminiscent of the scene in his short story "Guts".  Be that as it may, you might question some things like; why are there palm trees in Indiana? Or, why would a hospital put a hydrotherapy room above an ICU?  Don't question any of it, turn your brain off and go for the ride - it is what it is.  Special bonus points to the film makers for giving us some Nick Zano butt cleavage!
Hooray for Butt Cleavage!

3/16/10

Movie Poster Madness: Internal Combustion FROM HELL Edition

This one scared the bejesus out of me when I first saw it on television back in the Jurassic period.
James Brolin, nuff said.