Let's forget, just for a moment, that
Jeepers Creepers was directed by a
child molester. OK?
***
Good, now that that's out of the way it's time to enjoy
JC for what it is: a magnificent little horror movie that manages to combine elements of
Steven Spielberg's
Duel, the original
Texas Chainsaw Massacre, as well as pieces of urban legends, serial killer myths, and a good old fashioned monster movie.
Justin Long and
Gina Phillips play brother and sister, Darry and Trish Jenner who are driving along a country road on their way home from college for Spring break. -
It has to be mentioned that Long and Phillips are wonderfully believable as siblings, and it's a real treat watching these two trade jibes, discuss their family and play a silly license plate game as they pass the time.Unfortunately the good times don't last for long as about ten minutes into the film, the Jenner's are set upon by what appears to be a rusted out old milk truck on steroids that chases them down the road, slams into the back of their car, and then eventually passes them, all the while bleating a horn which makes a godforsaken, nerve-racking racket.
Freaked out, but happy that the monster truck is long gone, the kids regain their composure and continue along their way, until they happen
upon the rusted out bucket of nightmares parked on the side of the road, and catch a glimpse of an oddly attired somebody (or something) dumping what appears to be a body wrapped in a sheet, into an old stand pipe next to an abandoned church. Because Darry and Gina are decent people, they actually decide to go back to the scene of the crime and see if they can help - bad move; before long Darry falls into the standpipe and comes across a bevy of bodies that have
been stitched and sewn into a nightmare canvas. Corpses are attached to the walls and ceiling of the church basement in a sort of Sistine Chapel of horrors.
Though Darry manages to escape, the siblings are still not safe.
Once they find a local diner, they receive an anonymous call on a pay phone; a woman's voice cryptically warns Darry about cats and an old song ... the police show up, but like always, are of no real help (
though the male policeman is pretty damn hot, and can't seem to keep his eyes off of Darry, and that little tattoo of his near his navel - for what that's worth).
Things go from bad to worse as the cops don't believe what the Jenner kids tell them, and then, someone is spied in the diner's parking lot going through Gina's car. Once everyone gets outside, the lot is strewn with clothing - that's when a waitress tells Gina and Darry that some man was
picking up the clothes and sniffing them! Oh, and it seems that the sniffing creep was especially interested in Darry's tighty-whities (
which seemed to have been thrown into the wash with a red shirt).
Well, things just go from bad to worse ...
The Creeper beheads Officer Hot Stuff...
...and then seemingly French kisses the noggin before chewing up and sucking out the tongue.
And then the kids meet Eileen Brennan who is a crazy cat lady...and the Creeper does her in.
Later on, at the police station, the lady from the pay phone shows up and tells the kids all about the Creeper,"Every 23rd Spring, for 23 days, it gets to... eat."...say what?
It seems that the beastie who is stalking the Jenner kids emerges from his slumber every 23 years to hunt young nubile teens. The patchwork of bodies that Darry found earlier were all past victims of the demon. Furthermore, it appears that the Creeper not only eats his victims, but skins some of them, and uses their body parts to replace his own. And it seems that the Creeper really wants Darry for...well, you'll have to wait and see what body part he's craving.
Considering that director
Victor Salva is gay, it stands to reason that he makes the stalked victim in his horror film a male - I loved that twist in this film. After watching millions of beautiful young women fall prey to a movie monster, how refreshing to see a young beautiful guy be the object of the monster's attention. And then, during the film's thrilling climax, the tables are really turned when the female lead confronts the demon and begs it not to take Darry , but to take her, because she's "
stronger" than her brother. Of course it does not work, and the Creeper makes off with the struggling young man, flying off into the evening sky while his sister is left screaming his name as she watches the winged demon clutching her younger brother as they soar off into the moon lit night...
And then...
...the lyrics to the old song, Jeepers Creepers take on a much more sinister meaning. (Jeepers creepers, where'd you get them peepers, jeepers creepers, where'd you get them eyes...)
I saw
Jeepers Creepers at the movies when it first came out back in 2001, and absolutely loved it - to me it was a throw back to old school horror, and of course, the gay element was an added treat. Later on, director Salva would revisit the Creeper with
Jeepers Creepers II and make an even more heavy handed gay themed film - but for whatever reason, I did not enjoy it as much as the original.
gratuitous justin long from jeepers creepers
***
For those who have a problem with the director's admittedly disturbing past, all I can say is, as tasteless and disturbing as Salva's crime was, it was no worse than that of director's like Woody Allen and Roman Polanski ; two men whose personal lives I abhor, and whose work I admire.
Let's forget, just for a moment, that Jeepers Creepers was directed by a child molester. OK?
upon the rusted out bucket of nightmares parked on the side of the road, and catch a glimpse of an oddly attired somebody (or something) dumping what appears to be a body wrapped in a sheet, into an old stand pipe next to an abandoned church. Because Darry and Gina are decent people, they actually decide to go back to the scene of the crime and see if they can help - bad move; before long Darry falls into the standpipe and comes across a bevy of bodies that have 
been stitched and sewn into a nightmare canvas. Corpses are attached to the walls and ceiling of the church basement in a sort of Sistine Chapel of horrors.
Once they find a local diner, they receive an anonymous call on a pay phone; a woman's voice cryptically warns Darry about cats and an old song ... the police show up, but like always, are of no real help (though the male policeman is pretty damn hot, and can't seem to keep his eyes off of Darry, and that little tattoo of his near his navel - for what that's worth).
picking up the clothes and sniffing them! Oh, and it seems that the sniffing creep was especially interested in Darry's tighty-whities (which seemed to have been thrown into the wash with a red shirt).
The Creeper beheads Officer Hot Stuff...
...and then seemingly French kisses the noggin before chewing up and sucking out the tongue.
And then the kids meet Eileen Brennan who is a crazy cat lady...and the Creeper does her in.
And then...
...the lyrics to the old song, Jeepers Creepers take on a much more sinister meaning. (Jeepers creepers, where'd you get them peepers, jeepers creepers, where'd you get them eyes...)
gratuitous justin long from jeepers creepers
*** 
Good taste should always be first and foremost. Make sure that you are photographing the type of action that the general public can relate to: keep it simple, keep it tasteful.
If you bothered by those pesky psychic flashes that many in the fashion business are prone to, stay cool - even if you find yourself "seeing" a friend's eyes being gouged out with an ice pick.
And when a serial killer starts aping your style - keep in mind that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery!
If things really start getting dicey, and the police have to get involved, make sure that you fuck the lead detective, especially if he's hot... 
...at least you can forget your problems for a while and have a few laughs.
OK, it's time to get back to work - remember, keep those gams in plain view - side slit skirts are your best friend! 
Yes, fashion models can be dense, no matter - think of them as mannequins with a pulse, then just pose them the way you need.
Once again, keep those photo shoots tasteful! Oh and keep a hot male model around for your manager, he'll be so thrilled that he'll invite you to his birthday party...
...see? You got an invitation to his birthday party! 
Here's another helpful hint, keep some Visine in you purse, you never know when someone is going to take a close up shot of your eye during one of your psychic flashes...blood shot eyes are just so déclassé.
***
* Stopping into the old boathouse where you used to jerk off with your best friend from high school, and discovering hundreds of names written on the floors, walls and ceiling of said boathouse: another bad omen.
* If your estranged, homophobic father is the head of some obscure religious cult and apparently has had more plastic surgery than Joan Rivers, well, you in trouble, boy!
* That old jerk-off buddy from high school who got married, had a kid, and then left his wife, has been carrying a torch for you for the past fifteen years - of course, over time, he's become something of a drunk and a pot head; but trust me, he's still hot for you, dude!
* If you dream about that accident victim, and the rune he's holding shows up in your bed the next morning ... oh well, more bad news.
* Your crazy aunt will be of no help.
* OK, that old drunk guy at the bar is telling the truth, listen to him, man, take notes!
* Meeting up with Tori Spelling in front of the polar bear tank will only spell trouble.
* Apparently, Tori Spelling can seduce a gay man because she's so...well, she's so Tori!
* If all else fails, Tori will spike your baloney sandwiches and then date rape you - hey, this is a horror film after all!
* It's always sad when a "beloved garbageman" disappears. 
* You will finally have sex with that old high school pal, he will swear that he's not gay, but he'll tell you that he loves you - and finally, you'll get the stank of Tori Spelling out of your soul.
* Sometime after you fuck your old chum, you will be arrested for murder (don't ask) and spend the night in jail , and H.P. Lovecraft will send his tentacled horror of horror's to free you, yes, that's right Cthulhu himself is coming to free you - isn't he the most horrifying thing you've ever seen? Look, you can see him through the window of your cell door. Isn't he scary?
* The end of the world is going to be decidedly underwhelming.
* Tori Spelling will show up one more time (in a slutty red dress), and all of your friends and family will hail you as some sort of spooky savior, or something, maybe it's just a surprise birthday party...whatever the case, everyone dresses nice for the end of the world, don't they?
* Finally, after all of this foolishness, you will be asked to kill your lover so that you can gain your rightful place as...well, as something...and then your adventure will come to a frustrating, ambiguous ending.
yup, this movie is downright dreadful...
Oh, and the last fifteen minutes were probably some of the most terrifying and suspenseful minutes I've spent watching a film.
Victim: Paul Allen
Film: American Psycho
Dispatched by: Fellow yuppie scum, Patrick Bateman and his big old silver axe!
Played by: Jared Leto
