2/4/12

Lessons Learned from CONTAGION


  • If a pretty blond offers to blow on your dice for good luck at a casino in Hong Kong, kindly defer her offer. 
  • Never eat pork in Hong Kong! 
  • Stop touching your face!
  • Typhoid Mary may look a lot like Gwyneth Paltrow.


  • Don't touch anything!
  • Don't talk to people.
  • Avoid public transportation.
  • Stay out of restaurants!
  • The beefier Matt Damon gets, the better he looks!

  • Bloggers may be the only people who will get the truth out concerning a world wide health crisis. 
  • If you work for the CDC and tell someone something in the  strictest confidence,chances are they will blab what you said to someone else in a matter of minutes. 
  • Lab monkeys will suffer if a world wide epidemic happens. 
  • Stop worrying about zombies, the living are a hell of a lot more destructive and dangerous than imaginary creatures. 


  • And finally, society may crumble, but a beefy Matt Damon will survive.














5 comments:

John Baxter said...

LOL excellent. I'm getting them tattooed Momento style right now in case I forget.

Prospero said...

You forgot "Wash your hands."

Emily said...

Beefy Matt Damon for the win! I just watched this yesterday and kind of loved it. Got much darker than I expected it to.

Rob said...

Hahaha, that picture of poor Gwyneth! (I don't mind her as much as some people do)but yes, most importantly of all, a beefy Matt Damon will survive!
In my best Team America voice: "MATT DAMON!"

forestofthedead said...

The world would perish without Matt Damon.