7/31/10

Movie Poster Madness: "You Are In a Heap of Trouble, Boy!" edition


It's no secret, I love horror films in which the hounded are men rather than women.   I don't know why, but it always tickles me to see a guy victimized as opposed to a woman...then again, I guess women will always look better in lacy gowns while running through the misty moors - though I'd much prefer to see a shirtless hunk running bare ass through a cemetery, but hey, that's just me.  Be that as it may, let's take a peek at some film posters for movies in which the victim was a dude.
Women? What women? This one was all about three guys being terrorized by a tall creepy dude and a bunch of his hooded henchmen!   Several dreadful, nonsensical sequels followed - but we continued on the further adventures of "BOY" (aka Mike), and his former ice cream pushing pal, Reggie. 
Don't be fooled by Shirley MacLaine's name and mug staring at you from this one ... The Possession of Joel Delaney is all about Perry King being possessed by the soul of a Hispanic serial killer and wreaking havoc while doing so.  Plus, King was so damn HAWT in this movie, you'll need a cool drink.  More than anything, this is one of those films that we've seem to forget about, and that's a shame, because it's a pretty effective little thriller.
First was Joel, and now it's David's turn!  This one is a terrific jump fest - say, what do you know? Here's my review!  
Less a horror film, and more of a psychological thriller, 1975's The Reincarnation of Peter Proud hold's a special place in my dark little heart as it provided me, as a young gay boy, with one of my first objects of lust, Michael Sarrazin.  I am sure most of you have no idea who Michael Sarrazin is, and that's OK, as he's not done much of anything in years.  Oh, did I mention that he's bare ass in some of this film?  Well, now I did!

7/29/10

Let Me Entertain You ... I'm Very Versatile

Ah, that little vixen  The Person You Benefit From Knowing,  just sent me one of those damn blogger awards... you know the drill, tell us 7 things people don't know about you, pass on the award... well, after a morning of dental hijinx, I don't know if I really want to play by the rules, you dig?   So here's what I am going to do: I am going to post 7 things, and it's up to you to decide which are fact and which are fiction (hint, three will be true, four of them will not).  Then I will "Pay Forward" the award minus any linkage; now we will see who's really coming here, and who just skims and never really reads.  If you do find your blog mentioned then go for it!

CAN YOU TELL FACT FROM FICTION?

1: I went to seminary school.
2: I have two adult children.
3: I was almost killed in a car accident in 1984.
4: I smoked a joint with Iggy Pop in front of CBGB's on a very cold winter's night in 1978.
5: I am about to have an essay published in a book of essays coming out this fall.
6: I am totally blind in my left eye.
7: I voted for George W. Bush in both elections that he was eligible.

AND THE WINNERS ARE

1: I'M NOT PATTY (love this blog).
2: CINEMA STYLES (cause Greg F rocks my world)
3: THE WGON HELICOPTER (i know, everyone knows about this terrific blog, well, I just discovered it!)
4: THE QUEST TO WATCH EVERY MOVIE EVER MADE (i mean, talk about aiming high!).
5: NOW KINDLY UNDO THESE STRAPS (because this is what mad genius looks like).
6: SLASHER FILM SANCTUARY (because if  i give him this award, maybe the bitch will get off his cute but lazy ass and start posting some more!)
7: THE LAVENDER LAIR OF HORROR: (because one can never have too many gay horror  blogs!)
right, now let's see if any of our esteemed winners even notice they won!

7/27/10

Sing Out, Steve!

Steven Senski, proprietor of the blog, Heart in a Jar, is my latest object of affection.

"Why's that ? ", you might ask.  The answer is simple - he's a freaking  genius!  Lately, Mr. Senski has been crafting musical numbers set to popular pop or Broadway tunes for a project that one hopes will one day grace the Great White Way.  This appears to be an ongoing project, but if you want to experience genius in its starting phases, then get to clicking these links!





7/26/10

Thank You, Fellow Crazy People (updated 7/30/10 at 5:19 am est)

A great big thank you to my fellow crazy people;  those of you who descended upon this blog and scooped up The First Ever Billy Loves Stu Meme for Horror Bloggers like a bunch of hungry tourists at an ice cream stand.  I am so glad you all took some time and played along - and I hope you enjoyed this silly little experiment in blogger solidarity. 

What follows is a list of those who played along - go to these blogs, revel in the talent and madness you will find in each and every one, and make sure you tell 'em Pax sent you!


THE HORROR DIGEST
THE PARADISE OF HORROR
ZOMBOS CLOSET OF HORROR
ALL THINGS HORROR
I'M NOT PATTY
FULL MOON REVIEWS
STABBING STABBING STABBING
THE MOON IS A DEAD WORLD
HEART IN A JAR
DAY OF THE WOMAN
DEADLY SERIOUS
CINEMA SUICIDE
HOLD ONTO YR GENRE
FASCINATION WITH FEAR
SLASHER FILM SANCTUARY
TOO MUCH HORROR FICTION
BLOOMING PSYCHO'S FUNHOUSE
HORROR DAZE UN-DEAD NIGHTS
ANNEMARIE HARTNETT
A RACING MIND 
FREDDY IN SPACE
MM'S HORROR MOVIE DIARY
HALLOWEEN OVERKILL
FROM BEYOND DEPRAVED
THE QUEST TO WATCH EVERY MOVIE EVER
BLOODY TERROR
CHUCK NORRIS ATE MY BABY
THE WGON HELICOPTER
FRIGHT SCHOOL
THE SCREAM QUEEN
THE KID IN THE HALL
FEAR OF FICTION
CAFFEINATED JOE
WAG THE FOX
THE REAL STUFF CAT'S LIKE 
FOUR OF THEM 
DR BLOOD'S VIDEO VAULT 
PUSSY GOES GRRR
If I missed anyone, please let me know so that I can include your blog's link! 

7/25/10

The Meme without a Blog

Seems like everyone wanted in on my little meme (rhymes with cream, btw) that I cooked up yesterday - even someone with out a blog!

"But Pax", I can hear you exclaiming, "everyone has a horror blog these days! Even my great grandmother posts about favorite fright films on her blog, "Granny's Grand Guignol of Gore!" "

Well, calm down, I say, and behold the sad tale of one, Ms. Kristy Jett.  It seems that Ms. Jett, while affiliated with certain blogs, magazines and online publications, does not have her own blog proper!  Shocking, I know, but true.  Be that as it may, and since I am a sucker for sob story - I would like to present Ms. Jett's answers to the Horror Bloggers Meme that I posted yesterday - but first, a bio about our guest poster:

Born, Juinta Marie Simpatico O'Brien in a small mining community in England, Kristy Jett came to world wide recognition when she left the old country and relocated to the states sometime in the early 80's where she married several wealthy men (who all died mysteriously and left her their fortunes).  Today she spends her spare time working for Fright Rags (reportedly the finest horror t-shirt sweat shop in the nation), as well as contributing to Dread Central, The Blood Sprayer, The Dreamin Demon and Freddy In Space. This fall she will be published in Paracinema Magazine and Ax Wound Magazine. It is also reported Ms. Jett has worked in the radio broadcasting industry and is fond of juice boxes ... and of course their is that pending law suit that you might have read about in some of your sleazier tabloids, but we won't talk about that today: Take it away Kristy! 

1: In Ten Words or Less, Describe Your Blog:
 I don't have one :(

But I do write for some amazing Horror sites/blogs such as Dread Central, The Blood Sprayer, The Dreamin Demon and Freddy In Space!

2: During What Cinematic Era Where you Born?
                                            A: The Classic Horror Era (late 30's to 40's)
                                            B: The Atomic Monster/Nuclear Angst Era (the late 40's through 50's)
                                            C: The Psycho Era ( Early 60's)
                                            D: The Rosemary's Baby Era (Mid to Late 60's)
                                            E: The Exorcism Era (Early to mid 70's)
                                            F: The Halloween Era (Late 70's to Early 80's)
                                            G: The Slasher Era (Mid to late 80's)
                                            H: The Self Referential/Post Modern Era (1990 to 1999)
                                    
 F. Born in 1981 baby
3: The Carrie Compatibility Question:
                                           (gay men and straight women - make your choice from section A)
                                           A: Billy Nolan or Tommy Ross, who would you take to the prom?
                                           (straight guys and lesbians - make your choice from section B)
                                           B: Sue Snell or Chris Hargensen, who would you take to the prom?
 Tommy Ross all the way. His hair was lame but his personality was quite nice. And I mean hell, who wouldn't want to date a guy who was rugged but whipped? I could've gotten him to do my bidding EASILY.

4: You have been given an ungodly amount of money, and total control of a major motion picture studio - what would your dream Horror project be?
 
 I would force Sam Raimi to make Evil Dead 4. I loved seeing Sam get back to his Horror roots with Drag Me To Hell, and I'd love to see Sam direct Bruce in a starring role again. ED4 will likely be made anyways, so I'd just want to ensure Sam was in the drivers seat!

5: What horror film "franchise" that others have embraced, left you cold?
 
I guess I will have to go with the Saw franchise. While I loved the first and liked the second, everything else has just become more and more ridiculous. Anyone who still goes to these films and expects anything other than what the previous got them is missing something...

6:  Is Michael Bay the Antichrist?

He's as close to it as anyone else I can think of. Filmmaker wise anyways. General public goes to Nancy Grace.

7: Dracula, The Wolf Man, The Frankenstein Monster - which one of these classic villains scares you, and why?
 
Dracula, because he can fly and creep into my room when I'm sleeping. Frankenstein is always Frank from The Monster Squad to me, so he's my friend in my mind. I am close personal friends with the Wolfman. His real name is John Squires and he runs a horror blog called Freddy In Space, look him up!
8: Tell me about a scene from a NON HORROR Film that scares the crap out of you:
 
The scene in Labyrinth, when Sarah is with those fire creatures. They are intensely scary! This coming from the girl who still has troubles with the penguins on the old beer commercials...creeptastic!
9: Baby Jane Hudson invites you over to her house for lunch.  What do you bring?
 
A pillow, because I just know once we get to know each other, we'll become bff's and she'll ask me to stay for a slumber party!
10: So, between you and me, do you have any ulterior motives for blogging?  Come, on you can tell me, it will be our little secret, I won't tell a soul. 
 
Yes I do! I will speak in terms of the Blood Sprayer. I want to(and have) a staff full of some of the most talented bloggers out there. I feel like we have one of the best written sites out there because indeed we have talented bloggers who crafted their writing, and it's a seamless transition from what they do to our site. It's one big Horror blog!
11: What would you have brought to Rosemary Woodhouse's baby shower?

Where is she registered?

12: Godzilla vs The Cloverfield Monster, who wins?
 
Godzilla! I don't have a good reason, but it'd definitely be him...

13: If you found out that Rob Zombie was reading your blog, what would you post in hopes that he read it?
 
I would do a long article on Fright Rags (the shirt company I work for) in the hopes that he wanted to wear out shirts full time, maybe a nice little walking billboard I could make with one stellar piece on our shirts haha
14: What is your favorite NON HORROR FILM, and why?
 
Bottle Rocket! It is my favorite film of all time. One of the main reasons why that film does it for me is the character of Dignan as played by Owen Wilson. A 12 year old trapped in a mans body with the adventures to prove it!

15: If blogging technology did not exist, what would you be doing?


Having hand cramps from all the writing. Hopefully somebody would have ye olde writers corner or something haha

7/24/10

The First Ever Billy Loves Stu Meme for Horror Bloggers


When I started this blog way back in 2007, there were only a handful of horror blogs - today, (well, the last time I checked) there are 588,933,041 horror blogs out there.  Seriously!  Would I lie about something like this?   I figure that EVERYONE who has watched a scary movie, thriller, sci/fi, or slasher film wants the world to know their opinion on said film ... and so now the world knows that Horrophanatic666, who runs the blog, 666 Reasons Why I Love Horror believes that Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan is the most AMAZING film ever made.

I thought it might be a nifty idea, if I created a Meme for horror bloggers to complete so that the next time someone stumbles across the electronic journal of a burgeoning Pauline Kael, or Stephen King-wanna-be; the reader might get a better idea of where this bloody blogger is coming from.  So, without further ado, here is ...


The First Ever Billy Loves Stu Meme for Horror Bloggers
(my answers, obviously, are being supplied, but feel free to rip this off and add your own!)
1: In Ten Words or Less, Describe Your Blog:

2: During What Cinematic Era Where you Born?
                                            A: The Classic Horror Era (late 30's to 40's)
                                            B: The Atomic Monster/Nuclear Angst Era (the late 40's through 50's)
                                            C: The Psycho Era ( Early 60's)
                                            D: The Rosemary's Baby Era (Mid to Late 60's)
                                            E: The Exorcism Era (Early to mid 70's)
                                            F: The Halloween Era (Late 70's to Early 80's)
                                            G: The Slasher Era (Mid to late 80's)
                                            H: The Self Referential/Post Modern Era (1990 to 1999)
                                    
3: The Carrie Compatibility Question:
                                           (gay men and straight women - make your choice from section A)
                                           A: Billy Nolan or Tommy Ross, who would you take to the prom?
                                           (straight guys and lesbians - make your choice from section B)
                                           B: Sue Snell or Chris Hargensen, who would you take to the prom?

4: You have been given an ungodly amount of money, and total control of a major motion picture studio - what would your dream Horror project be?

5: What horror film "franchise" that others have embraced, left you cold?

6:  Is Michael Bay the Antichrist?

7: Dracula, The Wolf Man, The Frankenstein Monster - which one of these classic villains scares you, and why?

8: Tell me about a scene from a NON HORROR Film that scares the crap out of you:

9: Baby Jane Hudson invites you over to her house for lunch.  What do you bring?

10: So, between you and me, do you have any ulterior motives for blogging?  Come, on you can tell me, it will be our little secret, I won't tell a soul.

11: What would you have brought to Rosemary Woodhouse's baby shower?

12: Godzilla vs The Cloverfield Monster, who wins?

13: If you found out that Rob Zombie was reading your blog, what would you post in hopes that he read it?

14: What is your favorite NON HORROR FILM, and why?

15: If blogging technology did not exist, what would you be doing?

OK, have at it kids...and if you'd like to see my answers, continue on:

1:A poorly written blog by a gay horror film fan...

2: 1958 is my birth year, that would place me in B The Atomic Monster / Nuclear Angst Era.

3: Tommy Ross, for sure...oh to run my fingers through that tangle of golden hair!

4: I would mount a major motion picture of Stephen King's the Stand.  It would be a painfully faithful adaption of the novel.  There would be NO big stars in it, however, I would have the film broken down into three separate releases with three different directors attached.   George Romero would have Part I (Captain Trips),Robert Rodriguez would direct Part II (On the Boarder), and Paul Thomas Anderson would helm part III (The Stand). 

5: The Saw Films - probably the most dreadful, stink-out-loud tripe I have ever seen.  Also The Friday the 13th Films.  I really enjoyed Friday1, but all the logic went out the window with the sequels ... I mean, come on, if Jason was actually alive, what was Mrs. Voorhees' motivation about?   

6: Michael Bay leaves the smell of sulfur in his wake.

7: Dracula!  You only had to worry about The Wolfman during a full moon, The Frankenstein Monster was slow and could easily be outrun, but Dracula was suave and calculating.  If he really wanted you, you were toast.

8: I've mentioned this before; the creepy homeless person who lives behind the dumpster in David Lynch's Mulholland Drive.   I've been haunted by that freak ever since I first saw the film.

9: Six bottles of scotch and three bottles of gin.  Oh and a box of chocolates for Miss Blanche and a helmet for Elvira.

10: My motives are as pure as the driven snow...

11: Baby talon clippers, a hooded onesie and a copy of Dr. Spock's baby book.

12: Godzilla's laser breath would probably finish off The Cloverfield Monster, and if not, Godzilla could always drop kick the bastard back into the Hudson.

13: I would post an open letter to him, begging him to quit the white trash horror thing and go back to making music.  Oh, and I'd also tell him to take a shower.

14: The Godfather. Amen.

15: I would probably be foaming at the mouth, drinking to excess and chain smoking.  Blogging is such a great stress relief.  

7/20/10

ADD Film Review: How to Be a Serial Killer

Meet Mike; a handsome, personable, energetic, talkative guy who seems as if he could sell ice to an Eskimo.  Mike's the type any one might want to spend some time with, and the sort of fellow who seems to be a lot of fun to hang out with.

Don't let the fact that he's a cold blooded serial killer put you off or you'll miss one hell of a great time!

In fact, Mike is such a great guy that he's decided to teach others how to be serial killers...well, actually, he's only got one student - but in his mind, he's brought the fine art of serial killing into an Anthony Robbins-like motivational seminar.  He's got rules (never kill children, the handicapped or animals), and lessons on favored killing utensils (your own two hands are your best weapon)...but most of all, he's got that "can-do" attitude that makes him a winner!

How To Be A Serial Killer is a funny, bloody romp that only asks the viewer to sit back and enjoy.  It's got gore (but not a lot), it's got laughs (but nothing over the top), and it's got some decent acting (kudos to Dameon Clarke for his stellar performance as the lead, and Matthew Gray Gubler as his apprentice, Bart).  But most of all, it has energy and a handful of subtle twists and turns that will keep the viewer interested.  Bravo to director/writer Luke Ricci for coming up with this hilariously sick piece!

7/19/10

Things I Love about Scream 3

For some reason, Scream III always gets treated like the red-headed stepchild of Wes Craven's Scream Trilogy.  People don't like it as much as the first two films; and I don't get that.  For my money, Scream III is the wittiest, most self referential of the films.  With it's knowledge of what's come before, and it's constant ribbing of the movie business in general; I find it to be one of those rare movies that not only works as a horror film, but a satire as well.  That said, let's take a look at some of the things I love about Scream III:


* Hooray for Hollywood!: The movie opens with a shot of the Hollywood sign lit by a traffic chopper, and immediately we are aware of the fact this is a movie about movies; more so than it's predecessors.
* Respect for the Master:  Roger Corman appears as a studio executive who seems to frown upon the exploitative nature of Stab 3, the film within the film.  Fans of the work of Mr. Corman will no doubt get a chuckle from this.
* After all, Gale Weathers, you're such a complex character: Parker Posey as the ditsy, driven, crazed, Jennifer Jolie playing Gale Weathers in the Stab 3 film ... no doubt about it, Posey and Courtney Cox are a match made in Bitch Heaven!
 * The Death of Sarah Darling:  Killing off the irritating Jenny McCarthy early in the game was a good move.  Much like the similarly irritating Drew Barrymore being knocked off in the first reel of Scream.  I am sure that Ms. McCarthy and Ms. Barrymore are nice people, but, for whatever reason, I find them both nerve racking - I am pretty sure it's their speaking voices - just sayin' is all.
* Jay and Silent Bob's cameo appearance at the studio:  Jay see's Gale on the studio lot and say's, "Holy shit, Silent Bob, it's that TV newschick Connie fucking Chung. Hey Connie, how's Maury?" 
 * Detective McDreamy: Patrick Dempsy as Detective Kincaid, the movie obsessed cop investigating the murders is a great character...right up to the big reveal, he's a prime suspect!
* A Job that suits her: Sidney (Neve Campbell) is hiding out in Monterey, California under an assumed name and works for a women's crisis hot line.  Brilliant!
 * The Killer's scripted clue: When the killer faxes a new script as to how the movie (and the killings) will progress...
*KA BOOM!!: ...and then blows up Jennifer's house.
* Randy's Back!: When the gang meets up with Randy's sister, they are given a video tape the dead hunk made just before he was killed - and from beyond the grave, Randy Meeker (Jamie Kennedy) continues his sage advice as to how you survive a horror film.
* The Hardy Girls:  Jennifer and Gale team up to figure out who Sid's mother really was; the banter between the two of them is a riot...I wish someone would give Posey and Cox a sitcom!.
* Carrie Fisher!: As the studio archivist, and dead ringer for that actress who played in Star Wars, Fisher delivers one of the funniest lines in the film: " I was up for Princess Leia. I was this close. So, who gets it? The one who sleeps with George Lucas."
* Gee, but it's great to be back home:  When Sid ends up on the set of Stab 3, she is pursued by the killer through a mock-up the house she lived in during the events of Scream.  This scene reminded me of a similar moment in Wes Craven's New Nightmare.

*Milton's House of Fun:  The film's climax is set in a sprawling Hollywood mansion that is filled with hidden passageways and secret rooms.  I could not help thinking how much the house was reminiscent of Norma Desmond's palace from Sunset Blvd.
* The Secret to being Superhuman: When the Killer reveals his bullet proof vest, we finally understand how Michael Myers, Jason, and the rest of them keep on coming back for more!
* Is that the best you got, punk?! :  Sid's reaction at the Killer's explanation as to why he's doing what he's doing is priceless - "God, why don't you stop your whining and get on with it, I've heard this shit before!" 
 *Art imitates life:  In the end, the survivors go back to Sid's ranch house and Officer Dewey asks Gale Weathers to marry him ...everyone say it with me, "Awwwwwww"
*Letting in some fresh air, finally:  In the final seconds of Scream III, we watch as a breeze blows open Sid's front door and we wait for the shocking ending, for the killer to reemerge brandishing his knife...and we continue to wait.  But all we get is an idyllic setting, the sounds of wind-chimes, and the promise of a happy ending.

7/18/10

Happy Birthday to Me

Yet another classic creature feature released the year of my birth ... Christ, I am getting so fucking old.

7/15/10

Fresh Slabs of Meat: Hunky Victims (13)

Victim: Unnamed Gas Station Attendant located at the Mobil off of the 101 freeway near Mulholland Drive, past Woodland Hills, Ca.
 Film: Messiah of Evil (aka Dead People).
Hunk Factor: Lets face facts, sometimes you just gotta have a greasy guy who is good with his hands - the type of fella who can change the oil, tighten up the brakes and align the tires.  Furthermore, you will want one like this; with his pug nose and square jaw - sure he's a little dirty, but you can be sure he cleans up just fine!
Dispatched by: Satanic zombie/crazy person.
Played by: Charles Dierkop

7/14/10

Fresh Slabs of Meat: Hunky Victims (12)

Victim:  AJ
Film: Vamp
Hunk Factor:  Not since Ron Grady of Elm Street, have we come across such a hot slab of meat.  AJ's a randy Frat boy who loves the ladies and is not afraid of a little adventure.  He looks good in his tight black undies, and he's got one rockin' head of hair!  When he sets his eyes on the oddly sexy stripper, Katrina, he comes down with a supernatural case of jungle fever that would, sadly, prove to be his undoing.
Dispatched by: A flesh eating, crazy vampire who looks a lot like Grace Jones.
Played by: Robert Rusler.

7/9/10

Top Ten Willy Inducing Moments

Andre Dumas, she of the fabulous Horror Digest , recently posted her Top 10 Willy Inducing Moments - scenes from films that just made you shiver or gave you THE WILLIES (get it?)   Well, now the damn thing's gone viral and has infected this very blog.

So, without further ado,  I present my Top 10:

1: Regan MacNeil's Bloody Spinal Tap from The Exorcist:
Masturbating with a crucifix, puking up pea soup and spider walking down the stairs all pale in comparison to the spinal tap scene from The Exorcist.  The cold, clinical doctors; the noisy machines; the flashing x rays ... for some reason, this scene makes my blood run cold. 

2: That effin Homeless Person/ Monster from Mulholland Drive:
Meet the freaky deaky beastie who lives near the dumpster behind Winkie's diner on Sunset Blvd.  He/She/It causes nightmares, heart attacks and releases pint size-senior citizen-demons from paper bags.

3: The Wailing Wall from The Haunting:
Good god, this has got to be one of the most eerie bits featured in a film...a deep voice is heard murmuring softly (with the cadence of a preacher), while a child's whimpering is also heard - eventually the child begins screaming; all the while, the viewer stares at this woodcut wall and notices a strange sort of face (well at least that's what I saw).   Too creepy.

4: That effin Truck from Duel:
I hate trucks.  I hate this truck especially because it kept trying to run poor Dennis Weaver off the road.

5: The Posse Bringing Ben's Body to the Fire from  Night of the Living Dead:
With it's allusion to lynchings, this still from the end credits to Night of the Living Dead, creeps me out more than any damn zombie ever could.

 6: Jack Woltz finds a Horse's Head in his Bed from The Godfather:
It may not be from a horror film, but this scene just ruined me!  I guess Woltz should have forgiven Johnny Fontaine after all.

7: Virginia's about to Give a Big Sting from Spider Baby:
...so your stuck in the window of this creepy old house, and you see this nut case coming at you with a a couple of sharp objects...

8: Mike in The Corner from The Blair Witch Project:
MIIIIKKKEEEEEE!  'nuff said.

9: The Blood Filled Tub and Reaching Hand from The Tingler:
William Castle might have been a big old hack - but this scene scared the bejesus out of me when I was a kid.  It's one of the reasons I love horror films to this day!

10: Samara from The Ring:
Creepy little girls crawling out of wells and television sets always freak me out.