2/7/10

Movie Poster Madness: Gay Porn Sucks edition

Gayracula: Tim Kramer appears as Count Gaylord (sigh), a blond haired vampire (with a noticeable tan line) who prowls the streets of L.A. searching for nubile young males with necks, and other bodily parts, that are just begging to be drained...
The Vampire of Budapest: Director Kristen Bjorn lines up a bevy of beautiful boys, one of them slips in a pair of fangs and PRESTO, you've got cinematic magic.
Thirst: Never saw this one, but it looks like a classic.
Sons of Satan: This epic was released in 1973, it's a trippy, campy mess.  Consider what Scott from Modesto said about it on IMDB:
"A man searches for his brother in the mansion of a vampire cult. He finds him, gets orally violated by his own brother and some other limpwrists, and then gets sodomized by the head vampire. All the while the cats who are trying to fellate him look like mama birds trying to pull a tenacious worm out of hard dirt. Woo hoo."

4 comments:

Hayden Thorne said...

I saw "Count Gaylord" and "He'll suck you dry" and threw my hands up. That's it. I want a copy.

James said...

Scott from Modesto sure knows how to create a vivid picture!
My eyes! My EYES!

Te* (Slasher Film Sanctuary) said...

I love this spoof titles to porns, but sometimes I wonder why they didn't go with alternate titles.

Like, instead of Gayracula......maybe they could've went with "Count Cockula"?
Forget "My Bloody Valentine"........and welcome "My Bloody Behind"
Forget "Night of the living dead".......and welcome "The Night I Got lovely head"

;P

wavingpalms said...

Odds are good that the Kristen Bjorn one is the only one actually, you know, worth watching.

JMS