9/25/11

Worst Gay Themed Horror Film Ever : VAMPIRE BOYS



Director, Charlie Vaughn's Vampire Boys is possibly the worst movie you might ever see.


I mean that. 


The acting is flat, and the story is laughable (cute twink comes to L.A. and is stalked by a 100 year old vampire king and his posse  -- who all seem to own stock in Soloflex).  These vampires can, and do, walk in the sun and all look like rejects from a washed up boy band. 
Pecs by Soloflex, Specs by Ray-Ban, Ironic crucifixes by chance

Some stuff happens, a lot of stuff is inferred, the vampire king and twink kiss...then I dozed off.




Honestly, this piece of sun-dappled garbage makes David DeCoteau's work look like genius in comparison.


The only saving grace is that one vampire guy is pretty hot...the tall chrome dome one...

check out that rack!

...yeah, I liked that dude, Jess Allen, I look forward to seeing his talents eventually exposed via a lifetime exclusive contract at Falcon Studios.





If you really need to see this piece of tripe, you can check it out on Netflix streaming.  


vampires just want to have sun...err..fun







8 comments:

Matt-suzaka said...

I saw this was on Netflix last night and instantly thought it would be perfect for Billy Loves Stu, only to come here and see you have already made yourself an acquaintance with the "boys."

It looks as terrible as you claim it to be, which is kind of what makes it appealing to me, and I hope that one day there will be a sequel titled Vampire Boyz, but this time around it will feature an all black cast!

Pax Romano said...

Matt, my reason for posting this was to make you happy. ;)

God, this movie was so damn dreadful. But I like the idea of "Vampire Boyz"!

Prospero said...

Vampire Boi?

Pax Romano said...

Prospero, something like that. But five minutes into this it's Vampire, Oy!

Spooky Sean said...

Vampire Boyz in Da Hood.

Planet of Terror said...

I received a screener for this about 6 months ago and knew it would be a shit sandwich, fit for a night of drinking with friends and making fun of. Needless to say, there was a lot of that.

What was up with the random dong showings?

Pax Romano said...

POT, the random dong showings are akin to the random boob flashes seen in films aimed at straight guys...at least that's what I am thinking.

kermode said...

the presence of dong pretty much has to make it better than this nonsense:

http://www.deadguyscinema.com/cgi-bin/release.cgi?rid=zombies_ueedvd&sid=DdVTCYcpnv9O

I watched it on my birthday back in 2007 after renting it from the local Pop & Pop video store, and by the end, I was screaming "END!!!" at the screen.