9/11/10

A.D.D. film review: The Silent Scream

Obnoxious college student, Scotty (Rebecca Balding) forget to sign up for a dorm when she registered for classes at Disco Tech University, so she's forced to go looking for a room to rent, and eventually finds one in a gorgeous Victorian house that sits on a bluff overlooking the ocean...
cliche' check list: scary nerd with a perky butt (check), brash jewish girl with big glasses (check), obnoxious preppy who wears sweater around his neck (check), flat chested - humorless final girl (check).


... her roommates seem OK, even if the rich kid looks to be pushing 40 ... and the Norman Bates-like son of the owner of the house seems a bit odd...what's most disturbing is that the land lady (played by Yvonne De Carlo) does not seem to have much to say...
"don't mind me, dear, I'm just slumming it until The Munster's residual checks kick in again"

...luckily, the fourth roommate shows up on his chopper smelling of Aqua Velva, and Scotty thinks this might not be such a bad deal after all...
"let me just brush back my gorgeous mop of hair and give you a view of my treasure trail, like it?"
...soon the happy foursome go out for a bite to eat, but the obnoxious guy ends up drunk and passes out on the beach and is then stabbed by someone.  This causes the Aqua Velva dude to go shirtless a lot and make a pass at Scotty...
"that's right, I am lean and like to go shirtless so you can view my fuzzy chest!"

...so while Scotty and Aqua Velva dude are fucking, the Jewish girl gets hacked up in the basement by someone ... luckily, the cops are on the case, and Sgt. Manny Ruggin and his awesome tie (Avery Schreiber and his awesome tie) thinks he's figured out who killed the rich guy on the beach ...
"my tie and I have got this all worked out!"

 ...will Scotty and Aqua Velva guy survive?  Will Yvonne De Carlo ever get any dialouge?  And what about the crazy chick with the knife, where did she come from?
"quick somebody call actor's equity for me!"

For answers to these and other questions, go rent The Silent Scream...so bad it's good, and so good it's bad!
"did someone request a rear view?"

10 comments:

iasa said...

You had me had Disco Tech University.

Pax Romano said...

iasa, you won't be disappointed! ;)

Blooming Psycho said...

Such cheesy goodness! How can I say no?

Pax Romano said...

BP,
You can't you'll be powerless against The Silent Scream's spell! ;)

Rob said...

Hahaha, when I first read this hurriedly, I thought Scotty was "nerd with perky butt cheeks", so when further down it said :"Scotty and Aqua Velva dude are fucking", I just perked right up! I'm pretty sure I've heard of this before-maybe Stacie Ponder reviewed it also? This does sound kinda interesting, in an odd way.

Pax Romano said...

Rob,

It's awesome in its dreadfulness...

Ninja Dixon said...

Actually, I think it's so good it's good :)

Pax Romano said...

Ninja, your mileage may vary. ;)

Toon said...

New follower here. Love the blog!

JA said...

This is so weird, I'm just seeing this review Pax but I totally watched this movie LAST NIGHT. Weird! Anyway it had its moments but kinda lost momentum in the middle, I think. I love that Stacie Ponder refers to the entire movie in her review as a Butterface because I kept thinking that about the shirtless dude. He had a great body but man his face. MAN. Still he was half-naked for about 85% of his screentime so I didn't have to look at his face if I didn't want to. I totally have plans to cap some of his nakedness at some point myself, too. Anyway BARBARA STEELE, the end. ;-)