8/2/10

The Bad Boys of Bon Temp

I once heard HBO's vampire soap opera, True Blood, referred to as, "The closest thing to prime-time-soft-core-gay-porn out there".  I don't know If I'd go that far - but since series creator, Alan Ball does play for my team, I can't help but notice that the ratio of bare chests to boob shots is pretty much off the charts (with the bare chests vastly showing up more than any boobage).  With that in mind, let's take a look at some of the hunky werewolves, vampires, shape shifters and mortal bad boys of Bon Temp Louisiana.

Jason Stackhouse: Dumb as dirt, hornier than hell, and hotter than Georgia asphalt, Jason Stackhouse is Bon Temp's resident hot blooded stud.  Honestly, I do believe that Ryan Kwanten's contract stipulates that he must go bare ass and shirtless at least once an episode - no complaints!
Lafayette Reynolds: Fierce, fashionable, flamboyant, and tough enough to kick any red neck who get's all up in his business, Lafayette is the troubled yet compassionate bad boy who works as a short order cook, and sells "V" on the side. Three cheers to Nelsan Ellis for taking the gay stereotype and playing it a whole other way.
"Eggs" Benedict Talley:  "Satan in a Sunday Hat" indeed.  Eggs was the brief but unforgettable lover of Tara.  Sadly he was under the spell of an evil maenad, and was killed off.  He was played by former Calvin Klein underwear model, Mehcad Brooks. 
 
Hoyt Fortenberry:  Hoyt was a Mama's boy, that was until his mom went crazy thanks to the afore mentioned evil maenad - and then, after the maenad's spell was broken, Hoyt's mama further alienated her son when she dissed his vampire girlfriend.  Poor Hoyt, such a lovable big galoot!  Played charmingly by Jim Parrack.
Bill Compton:  A southern gentleman vampire, Mr. Compton is polite, and charming.  Eventually he wins the heart of True Blood's heroine, waitress, Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin), and despite all of his seemingly honorable intentions, brings a world of trouble into Sookie's life. That said, who could deny Bill, and his hairy chest, anything he might want.  Bill Compton is played by Stephen Moyer.

Eric Northman: The Yin to Bill Compton's Yang, Eric Northman is a a greedy, manipulative, vampire who dates back to the Norse Vikings .  Currently he runs a "fang bangers" bar that serves as a front for some seedier operations. So blond, so evil and so irresistible ... played to perfections by Alexander Skarsgård.
Sam Merlotte:  The say all men are dogs, and in Sam's case, they'd be right.  Actually, sexy Sam is a shape shifter, but his preferred shape to shift in to would be that of a cuddly little dog .  Dependable, likable and the proprietor Bon Temp's favorite watering hole, Merlottes, sometimes you can find Sam runing through the woods naked as the day he was born...
...furthermore, Sam recently had a dream about Bill Compton that ended rather abruptly...
...just before the shifter and blood sucker were going to kiss...sigh.  Sam is played by Sam Trammell.
Alcide Herveaux: Behold Bon Temp's newest slab of sex!  Alcide is a werewolf with a heart of gold, and like his Bon Temp brethren, is prone to take his shirt off at a moment's notice!  Damn, draw blood! Played by Joe Manganiello

8 comments:

Annemarie Hartnett said...

Damn, every time Alcide takes his shirt off I just have to stop whatever it is I'm doing and stare with my mouth hanging open. I can't wait for him to get into a bloody, dirty werewolf fight.

senski said...

Thanks for including Hoyt. One of the few missteps I think the series is taking this year is keeping him apart from Jessica. My heart breaks for the big lug. I also think that she'd have some snappy exchanges with Hoyt's new roommate...

Jack Veasey said...

The first fiteen minutes of Sunday's episode was a particularly hot bare chest fest. Alcide running around nude, then whizzing in the woods, Hoyt and Jason hanging out shirtless at home, and Sam running around nekkid in a dog collar!

Surprised you left out Coot. Sadly, he's been killed off, too. Maybe he'll come back as a vengeful shirtless ghost.

Lisa/knitnzu said...

whooo baby, no hbo so only have seen seasons 1&2. ... the dream... the werewolf... what a lot of goodness to look forward to!

Alana said...

All hail Alan Ball.

Thanks, Pax-y.

Alana

P.S. Sam!

Rowan Mayfaire said...

Aren't they all just wonderful, course, I LOVE ERIC NORTHMAN above all else.

Cyberschizoid said...

This is a great blog!
Love Jason Stackhouse - what a babe!!! ;-)

J.D. Alexander said...

I have a tie between Jason and Eric. They're bodies are fantastic!