9/26/09

Some of the Best Bare Chests in Horror : Horror Movie Hunks (first in a possible series)

Everyone knows that horror films are overflowing with comely lasses and their heaving bosoms. Women in flimsy night gowns running through the mist, taking showers at out-of-the-way motels, or maybe just showing up naked because, well, let's face it, sex sells! If you are a straight male, your needs have more than been met in scare cinema.

But what about the rest of us? Gay men, straight women? What about our needs?

Glad you asked. Submitted for your approval, here are some bare chested Horror Movie Hunks to ogle, Gentlemen, remove your shirts!

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First up is Ryan Reynolds as George Lutz in The Amityville Horror (remake).


I am going to admit, I really did not care for this movie, it was pretty trite, but I could almost forgive all of the shortcomings as it seemed that Reynolds appears shirtless in almost every other scene.


I am pretty sure the only reason this film was made was to show RR in various stages of undress. No complaints here.



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Richard Carlson (on the left) played Dr. David Carlson in The Creature from the Black Lagoon. I loved him in this movie; he may be a scientist, but he's not some stuffed shirt, no sir, Doc David will strip down to form fitting shorts and tear his shirt off at a moments notice if he fears that his beloved (Julie Adams) is in danger from the Gill Man.

Smart, strong and sexy, and I'll bet he made house-calls!



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Pretty little Ben (played by pretty little Jesse Bradford) is getting the Fatal Attraction vibe from the new girl at school, Madison ( the downright gorgeous, Erika Christensen) in Swimfan. Granted, this is another pretty bad film, were it not for Bradford and the rest of the guys constantly showing up in their bathing suits, I might have never made it to the totally predictable ending.

Still, that Jesse Bradford sure is purdy...


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Had enough veal? Good, because it's time for some prime beef! That slab of nasty monster sexiness up there is Cal Bolder from Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter.


I can recall seeing this movie on a Saturday afternoon when I was about thirteen years old and when I caught site of Bolder as the monster ... well, let's just say it remolded my already twisted sexual psyche. I mean check out THAT RACK! Heck, I can forget the giant scar that makes his head look like covered casserole dish...

...and then there was the moment when the monster carries off some struggling guy to Frankenstein's daughter's lab...

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Of course there is no way one can talk about horror movie hunks and not mention Christian Bale as the titular anti hero of American Psycho.

Sculpted to perfection, Patrick Bateman is the serial killer for the Wall Street / Soloflex generation.

It does not matter if he was quoting pop music lyrics, chopping up co-workers, or chasing someone down hall way, stark naked, with a chainsaw. Pat was one hot psychopath!


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Finally, more than just another pretty face, Gary Conway played Bob in I Was a Teenage Frankenstein. And then pretty much redid the role in How To Make a Monster. Actually, both of these films are pretty good in a campy sort of way, you should seek them out.

As for Mr. Conway, well, here's a look at him with out the monster make up - said photo is from sometime in the mid 70's.


10 comments:

Ryne said...

Pax,

I absolutely agree with your pick of Ryan Reynolds. I have a huge man-crush on that guy.

senski said...

Thank you for this, Pax. I first realized that I was Not Like Other Boys back when CBS telecast the Joan Crawford shocker Berserk. I saw the bare-chested Ty Hardin and thought, "Gee, why do I really want to hug him right now?" Here's to everyone who felt their first horror-monal stirrings from the gents - and the flicks - in these pics!

Jeanette said...

I think my brain just popped when I saw Christian Bale's penis. Gah!

atomicfox said...

wowww you picked some A+ shots of ryan reynolds! check out my horror movie blog :)
http://atomicfox.blogspot.com

Carl (ILHM) said...

If I was gay Id totally bang those dudes. Its only my love of women that stands in my way now =D

Renolds looks almost unnaturally cut to me, I think Bale always had a believable fitness to him

Pax Romano said...

Carl, actually Reynolds looks artificial, hardly the kind of body a man with a drinking problem, money problems, and a haunted house might have - ah, the beauty of movies and the suspension of disbelief. BTW if you keep posting comments like your last one, you will become my fave straight guy!

Fred [The Wolf] said...

I'm not gonna lie. I got a man-crush on Ryan Reynolds. It probably rivals my Jason Statham one.

highwayknees said...

But Reynolds def looks steroided- up in that Amnityville pic! That's just unreal!

highwayknees said...

Course I aint complainin!

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