6/21/09

For Father's Day: Let's Re-Celebrate those DILFs

Horror Movie DILF: What Lies Beneath


Name: Dr. Norman Spencer

Location: A lakefront farmhouse somewhere in Vermont.

Occupation: Genetic research scientist / College professor.

Family: Wife, Claire. Daughter, Caitlin.

Why is He a DILF?: Because he's a mean old daddy bear with a fuzzy chest, and a twisted mind. Outward appearances seem to portray a smart, sensitive man with great tastes. However, his inner self is a beast prone to killing the young co-ed he was having an affair with, gas lighting his wife, and then eventually trying to kill her! But heck, why look at the negatives ... Dr. Spencer is one hawt older dude, and if you are gonna' lust after a psycho, at least make sure he's rich and sexy.

WOOF WOOF, Dr. Spencer.

Played by: Harrison Ford.

Horror Movie DILFS: The Langoliers

Name: Captain Brian Engle

Location: Past, present, and future.

Occupation: Jet Pilot for American Pride Airlines.

Family: Unknown (though the rest of the cast makes a sort of surrogate unit for The Captain).

Why is He a DILF?: With those broad shoulders, blue eyes and baby face; Captain Engle comes across as the ultimate father figure. Soft spoken, deceive, willing to take charge, and yet, a definite aura of sensitivity seems to emanate from him. Who would not want to sit in Captain Engle's cockpit while he steers his massive ship through the friendly skies ... as well as time portals! And then, when the badly animated Pac Men time-eaters show up, it's Captain Engle who manages a magnificent,seat-of-your-pants-escape!

Played By: David Morse








Horror Movie DILFs : Poltergeist

Name: Steve Freeling

Location: Cuesta Verde, California

Occupation: Real Estate agent.

Family: Wife (Diane) Daughters (Dana and Carole Anne) Son (Robbie). Dog (Ebuzz).

Why Is He a DILF?: Though he may very well have morphed into a Regan supporter in later years (early in the film, we see him reading The Gipper's biography), Steve Freeling is a pot smoking, fun loving guy who likes to talk dirty to his wife in a Donald Duck voice. It seems obvious that he knocked up Diane when they were both teens (as is witnessed by the Freeling's eldest daughter, herself a teen). It seems that Steve was probably a wild boy in his day. The Steve we know is the responsible, hardworking, caring father and husband. Men like Steve Freeling are sexy for several reasons, not only are they great guys, but they also can bring home the bacon...and of course when the ghosts take over the Freeling's suburban tract house and kidnap his youngest daughter, he's up for the fight - even if it means putting his faith in a pint sized psychic, watching his wife get sucked into a portal of hell, and telling his boss to fuck off!

Played by: Craig T. Nelson

2 comments:

RATSAWGOD said...

Awesome list, my brotha. Awesome.

Pax Romano said...

RATSAWGOD, Thanks, glad you liked it!