5/6/08

The One (or Two or Possibly Three) I Might Have Saved

After another one of his brilliant posts (this one in particular) , movie blogger , Arbogast threw the following wish out into cyberspace:

I wouldn't be disappointed if you bloggers out there carried the "The one you might have saved" torch to your own sites and wrote about those horror movie victims whose plights especially touched you and whom you wish you could have carried to safety.

...and I am happy to play along!

From the first time I saw Brian DePalma's film adaptation of Stephen King's first novel, Carrie, there were two characters that I really wanted to spare...

First, there was the Prince Charming, Tommy Ross, (played by the impossibly handsome William Katt). Tommy was essentially a blameless soul, who only took Carrie White (Sissy Spacek) to the prom because he wanted to help his girlfriend, Sue Snell (Amy Irving) get over her guilt for having earlier taunted Carrie (along with the other girls) in the gym showers after Carrie had her first period and freaked out. Tommy not only does his girlfriend's bidding, he actually begins to like Carrie, and after the two of them waltz dizzily on the star spangled dance floor, he begins to fall for her...

...So when we watch him get beaned by the dull, heavy edge of the steel bucket that had been filled with pig's blood, we are shocked and horrified. Of course we also assume that he is left for dead once Carrie's lost it and starts raising telekinetic hell.

Would I have tried to save Tommy Ross? Damn straight! To hell with those falling lights, electrical wires, and fire hoses that have seemingly come to life, I would have hoisted him over my shoulder and tried to beat a hasty retreat from the Bates High Prom.

I am sure that the blow to his head would have given him amnesia, so once he came around, we'd be long gone and headed to a little shack somewhere in Malibu. I'd have made something up and convinced him that we were long time lovers ... and then we'd while away our days, him unaware of his traumatic brush with death, his ex girlfriend now a basket case would have problems of her own (what with all the bad dreams she'd been having, her mother would just "take her away" for a bit), so she would not come snooping around ... yeah, that's how it should have ended; me and Tommy getting away, him teaching me how to surf, me teaching him what Greek passive means...sigh, a guy can dream, can't he?

Of course the only problem here is that I would have also saved Miss Collins (Betty Buckley).

And why not? Clearly, Carrie's gym teacher was family. That is, she was a lesbian. What with her knee socks and butch attitude. Let's face facts, when she bitch- slapped that slut, Chris (Nancy Allen), you knew you were dealing with a true Sister of Sappho.

Of course, Miss Collins was one of the few adults, maybe the only adult, who treated Carrie with respect and care. She even suspects that Sue might be up to something when she discovers her plan to have Tommy ask her to prom ... unfortunately, Miss Collins' hunch is a bit off, as the real trouble makers are not the golden boy and his girl, they are the aforementioned Chris and her scum bag boyfriend, Billy Nolan (John Travolta). Still though, her heart is in the right place.

Therefore, when we see the basketball backboard come slamming down on her, crushing her mid section, once more we gasp in disbelief.

Yes, I would have tried to save Miss Collins.

Of course, she'd be the fly in the ointment for my plans for Tommy, but what the hell, maybe she'd play along, maybe we could have gone back in to the gym and saved Helen (Edie McClurg), I think Miss Collins and her would have made a great couple!

Yeah, and the four of us could have then set up shop somewhere in San Francisco.

1 comment:

The Divine Ms. Jimmi said...

Ah, the dilemma of horror! Horror always is, in its self, a tragedy where the innocent are sometimes punished with the guilty. In Carrie,m the only person who was saved was the only way you could have saved someone.

Still, I would have tried to save Tommy. He was a cutie! I saw that movie 10 times in the theaters because of him!