Lessons Learned from 30 Days of Night

* Josh Hartnett sure is purdy, but he still can't act.
* Barrow Alaska is populated by some seriously handsome bearded men.
* Most of Barrrow's population leaves before the 30 days of no sun occur (around November 19th).
* Oddly enough, Barrow has little or no Native Americans living there.
* A Vampire's human henchman is capable of killing every dog in a small town as well as wrecking helicopters and stealing and destroying as many cell phones as possible.
* Vampire's that frequent Alaska, while natty dressers, are messy eaters.
* Said vampires sort of act like the "rage infested" Londoners in 28 Days Later.
* It seems that Barrow has no Catholic churches, hence no one got to use that old vampire yield-signal, a crucifix.
* A vampire's fingernail can be used to play phonograph records.
* U.V. grow-lights can be used to quell an attacking blood-sucker.
* Apparently these Vampires like to play with their food.
* All Vampires speak in a language that must be decoded via subtitles - with the exception of little girl vampires, who speak perfect English.
* To kill the vampire, one must become the vampire.
* A good right hook, is as effective as a stake through the heart.