3/26/08

Grande Dame Guignol: Strait-Jacket

Name: Lucy Harbin, convicted ax murderess and former mental patient.

Location: A poultry farm somewhere in Southern California.

Modus Operandi: Chopped off her cheating husband's head as well as the one of his tramp girlfriend ... can go from dowdy to slutty in the blink of an eye ... favors loud jazz renditions of "There Goes that Song Again" as well as jangly bracelets ... will strike a match on a phonograph record to light her cigarette ... prone to histrionics especially when locked in a bathroom ... poor mothering skills ... believes that a poorly fit wig, a tight dress and a lot of makeup will make her look like a twenty year old again ... can toss an axe as well as a knitting needle with almost supernatural dexterity ... breaks down at the sight of a chicken having it's head looped off.

Camp Factor: Over the top! Joan shot through a haze of a Vaseline because she was almost 60 when this film was made, and the first time we see her, she is supposed to only be in her early 30's. Children's voices chanting a bastardized version of the Lizzie Borden nursery rhyme. Joan dancing like a floozy while trying to seduce her daughter's boyfriend. Joan screaming at the top of her lungs, "MICHAEL AND CAROL WILL MARRY!!!!" or "BIIIILLLLLL!!!!!" or "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!"

Played By: Joan Crawford

1 comment:

Pinky Bear said...

"It wasn't just a sanitariom was it? Was it?!"

"No! No, it wasn't! ! It was an asylum! It was hell! 20 years of pure hell!!"

My favorite scene!