Beyonce as a Final Girl: Lessons Learned from Obsessed

NOTE: Back in June of 2007, I was in Hollywood, and like all good tourists I took a lot of tours. One my sojourns took me to a sound-stage on the Sony Picture's lot. Said sound-stage was where, my tour group was told, a "thriller" starring Beyonce Knowles and Jerry O'Connell was being filmed. We got the chance to tour the set and meet some of the crew. Today, I finally got to see that movie, Obsessed, and, boy howdy, did it suck. that's right sucker, I want top billing!

• Obsessed claims to be an erotic thriller; it is neither.
• That unsteady floor board in the attic that we are made aware of thirty seconds into the film, is going to come in handy later on, trust me!
• The new temp, a blond with great legs, is going to make every red-blooded male at her office turn into a misogynistic douche bag who will utter things like, "Damn! Where did she come from?!?!"
• Idris Elba, should have had more shirtless scenes, I'm just sayin' is all.

• The screenwriters seemed to have borrowed liberally from Play Misty for Me and Fatal Attraction - and yet, even with those two films as boilerplate's, they could not make Obsessed the least bit suspenseful.
• The token gay character in this movie is a spineless, gossiping, twit.
  
• Jerry O'Conell is a pretty bad actor.
• It looks like Taylor Scout Compton is really good at playing babysitters, especially stupid babysitters. Guess what she plays in Obsessed?
• Christine Lahti must have needed a paycheck, bad!
• Apparently, an upper middle class African American woman will instantly revert to a trash talking, head bobbing hell cat when confronted by a delusional nut case who is in love with her husband.
  
• The cat fight at the end of this movie, is THE ONLY reason to watch Obsessed.