1/29/12

Strigoi

Tired of sparkling vampires?  Bored with horny blood-suckers with Southern accents?  Worn out by the over dressed undead who dwell in musty old castles?

If you answered "YES" to any of the above, then director, Faye Jackson's Strigoi is the movie for you!

Strigoi (the undead) is the story of a small village in Romania where the locals have decided to knock off a corrupt land owner and his wife.  Unfortunately, the couple return as "Strigoi"...vampire-like beings who will, quite literally, eat you out of house and home if you let them.  That is, they will raid your pantry, your stove, your bread box...and once they've devoured every scrap of food you might have, they will go for your blood.

Now I don't know anything about Romanian folk lore, but I like the idea of the corpse coming back for real food, and then going for blood once the cupboards are bare.

Be that as it may, once the fun starts, a young man named, Vlad (Catalin Paraschiv) returns to the village after a failed attempt at finding his fortunes in Italy.  Almost immediately, Vlad discovers something is amiss...from shady land deals, to haphazard police work, to people dying without the proper authorities being notified.  Vlad is a good guy, maybe a bit of a slacker as he is the only one of his brothers and sisters who has not become a doctor, but his heart is in the right place, and soon enough he finds himself becoming the story's hero.
Infused with wit, intelligence, skulduggery and even some social commentary, Strigoi is that rare animal; a horror film that requires the viewer to pay attention to both the action and dialouge.  You will find very little blood letting here, and only a touch of gore.  To truly appreciate Strigoi, one must put away one's expectations of the vampire genre and prepare for a new version of the myth infused with some brilliant twists and turns.

1/22/12

I'll Be Back

To my constant readers...sorry for dropping the ball, I was a bit under the weather for most of December, and subsequently lost that blogging feeling.  I will be back soon with more postings.  Thanks to the folks who emailed me wondering where I was, it was much appreciated. 

11/12/11

BLUE VELVET

David Lynch's masterpiece, Blue Velvet has finally received the treatment it deserves re-released on blu-ray this week.  Besides seeing this darkly gorgeous film in all of its newly restored glory, there are also a slew of extras as well as 50 minutes of cut footage...more on that later, for now, let's go back to Lumberton...
 ***
The sugary facade of American small town life takes it on the chin in Blue Velvet.  Initially, the viewer is given scenes of sun dappled streets, crossing guards, fire trucks, white picket fences and stunningly gorgeous flowers; but eventually we witness a man, who earlier was watering his lawn, grasp at his neck as if something might have stung or bit him, and fall to the ground while the camera delves deep under the well manicured lawn, where he lay gasping for breath, to discover all manner of creepy crawling things going about their dirty business...that which lies beneath?
Soon we discover that the man's son Jeffery (Kyle MacLachlan) has returned from college to be with his family as his father recovers from his malady (possibly a stroke, though we never find out for sure).  One morning as Jeff is walking back from the hospital, he stumbles across a human ear amongst some debris in an overgrown lot.  Finding the ear, sets Jeff on a journey down a dark, mysterious, horrific path where (much like we saw earlier), all manner of creepy crawling things are going about their dirty business.  
Darkness sets in at this point and most of the action in the film (with a few exceptions) takes place at night.  Sometimes the evenings seem full of magic; as in the scene where Jeff meets Sandy (Laura Dern), who seems to walk out of the shadows like the ghost of Sandra Dee, all strawberry blond hair and pink frilly dress.  -- indeed much of Lumberton seems locked in some kind of odd timewarp.  Clearly it is the 80's, and yet, old television sets, hot rods and home interiors seem like left-overs from the Eisenhower era -- Other times, the evenings are filled with seedy bars, malevolent factories, and menacing characters.  And only daylight seems to make these places and people fade away.   Could it be that Lumberton itself is on some sort of twilight plane of existence; not present, not past, just somewhere in the middle sort of teetering back and forth in time? 
Speaking of teetering back and forth, consider our hero, Jeff.  He's handsome, obliging, square jawed, and seemingly all American.  And yet, he's prone to voyeurism,  and, when push comes to shove, he might even engage in a little sadistic sex play (if his partner really wants it).  It seems that Blue Velvet is all about Jeff's inner battle with the dark and light. Of course, as much as he might find it seductive, Jeff discovers that the night's darkness will turn on you, and possibly even kill you, if you aren't careful.  And that's where Sandy fits in.
Almost angelic in appearance, Sandy seems like she wandered out of a Disney film from the early 60's.  Virginal and pure, she is a good girl with a strangely spiritual and prophetic side (her monologue about her dream and the robin's bringing back the light to the world is one of the most touching moments in the film) who seems to see that Jeff is basically being tested.   When we see her in anguish much later in the film, we understand that things may have gotten worse then she ever expected when she cries out, "Where's my dream?"   However, is  Sandy's innocence and purity as strong as the dark powerful tragedy that engulfs Dorothy Vallens?
Billed as "The Blue Lady" at a local nightclub, Dorothy Vallens (Isabella Rossellini) is a victimized woman whose life has been shattered.  Her husband and young son are being held captive by a psychopath, and in turn she's become the sex slave of said psychopath.  Stressed beyond belief, and streched to her limits, Dorothy has begun to embrace the darkness that has engulfed her and in turn draws others in.  She finds Jeff hiding in her closet, threatens to kill him, and, later on, sleeps with him and then orders him to hit her - it's as if she feels that she deserves to be punished for everything that has happened to her - or has she become a masochist?  One wonders what path Dorothy would have followed were it not for Frank Booth. 
 Manically dangerous, Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper) is the crime king-pin in Lumberton.  Sadistic, psychopathic and addicted to amyl nitrate, Frank is the bringer of darkness, the ultimate creepy crawling thing who has made Dorothy's life a living hell, and in turn, dragged others in to the abyss.  We first see Frank through Jeff's eyes as we watch along seeing him degrade, abuse, and finally rape Dorothy on the floor of her apartment.   Later on, he kidnaps Jeff, torments him, mocks him, and beats the tar out of him leaving him for dead on the side of the road and in doing so, teaches him all about the reality of the darkness.  
Now It's Dark: There is much in the way of brutality seen throughout Blue Velvet.   Dorothy's rape, Jeff's beating at the hand's of Frank, the dead bodies on display in Dorothy's apartment near the end of the film, and just the crude way Frank address everyone (especially Dorothy who he refers to at one point as "tits") .  But nothing is as brutal, or as gut wrenching as the moment when Dorothy shows up nude, bruised and raving on Jeff's front lawn.  That scene alone is probably one of the most difficult things to watch in the film, and it strips bare the reality of what is going on, the truth that Dorothy has been living with, and the truth of how demonic Frank really is.   This is the moment when Frank goes from being a crazy bad guy, to something worse  - something almost inhuman. 

For all of it's darkness and violence, Blue Velvet also has some farcical  moments.  Women who look like they stumbled out of a John Water's film play frowsy prostitutes,  Jeff's eccentric aunt Barbara (Frances Bay) delivers some much needed comic relief, even Frank has his moment of levity when he asks Jeff what kind of beer he likes.  Jeff tells him, Heineken, and Frank roars, "Heineken? Fuck that foreign shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon is what you'll drink tonight!", and of course there is "The Chicken Walk"...you'll know it when you see it.  
 In the end, Blue Velvet remains a modern film-noir classic.  The simple story about a good kid who stumbles upon a bad thing and sort of finds himself in a fractured Hardy Boys adventure.  But it's also a love story - Jeffery and Sandy's love story - as well as Frank's love for a woman that he can only get through kidnapping and enslavement.  And there is also the not so simplistic story about the corruption that lies beneath life, the loss of innocence, and the battle between good and evil (and the constant human struggle of trying to understand that battle).  
***
Now, about those special features.  Well, first things first.  This blu ray looks stunning.  Plain and simple, you will not believe how gorgeous this movie looks now.  

A lot has been made about the missing footage that was included.  All I have to say about that is, well, there was a reason it was not included in the first place.  Sure it's kind of fun seeing a young Megan Mullally, playing Jeff's college girl friend, and it was also kind of interesting to see the dynamics between Jeff and his mother when he first comes home; but most of the extra scenes are pretty long and would have just bogged the final film down.  I think it's a good thing that they were cut.

A decent documentary is included and Isabella Rossellini has some great stories to tell about working with Dennis Hopper.
yes that's Megan Mullally - the future Karen Walker.

10/31/11

Trick or Trick : HORROR PORN RETURNS YET AGAIN!

Happy Halloween, gang.  It's time to check out the latest collection of buff boys and buxom gals in this collection of blatantly tacky, scary skin epics ... so without further ado, time to break out the remote control and a box of Kleenex as Horror Porn Returns Yet Again:

Bloody hunks and sexy zombies seeking firm flesh abound in Boys Night Out.

Taking a cue from The Queen of the Damned, Wicked Pictures presents Curse Eternal which promises that, "the dead will rise" (see what they did there, aint that clever?)

Yes, yes it's called Queer of the Damned...because they are ... queer and ... uh...they are damned...funny, they look pretty happy all things considered.

Kudos to the producers for really putting some thought into the box cover of A Wet Dream on Elm Street...are those vibrators on Freddy's glove?  Brilliant!

They're here, they're queer, and chances are they suck more than just blood!

So I had to look at this cover several times until I I caught the gag.  That said, great cover - but why not a tad more thought in the title? 

Nekid nasty boys are being spied on, or something like that in the epic, When A Stranger Cums.

Honestly, if I did not know better, I'd have thought this was an ad for a film on The Lifetime Network. 

And last but not least, Dante promises us a hell many of us would probably not mind.

10/29/11

and the Infinite Sadness : MELANCHOLIA



Melancholia is probably one of the most gorgeously rendered movies since Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey - indeed, the film's prologue of slow motion scenes and invasive heavenly bodies scored to Richard Wagner's Tristan und Isolde will bring to mind the imagery and beauty of Kubrick's masterpiece.  All in all, the ghost of the late director seems to hang heavy over Lars von Trier's latest film.



Breathtaking, heartbreaking, and sometimes terribly mundane, Melancholia is a rarity.  On the surface it's the tale of two sisters coping with varying degrees of depression during an upcoming event that might  herald the end of the world.  Justine (Kirsten Dunst) is a newlywed suffering from more than a case of cold feet, while Clarie (Charlotte Gainsbourg) is on edge due to caring for her frail sibling as well as the worry brought on by an approaching planet that may very well be on a collision course with Earth.   On the other, it's a deep meditation on existential angst, paranoia, the meaninglessness of life, and fear of the unknown.


The film opens as Justine and her new husband Michael (Alexander Skarsgård) are made late to their wedding reception because their chauffeur can not maneuver the gargantuan limousine he's driving up the winding, gravel road to the  couple's reception that is being held at Justine's sister and her husband's palatial estate. This scene is probably one of the only charming and light-hearted moments in the film.  Once the duo make it to the elaborate reception, and meet the odd-ball family members (of particular note is Charlotte Rampling who plays Justine's shrew of a mother), we spend the next hour watching the bride go from blushing to morose and soon realize that she has some kind of major mental health issues.


The second part of the film concentrates more on the impending event as we discover that Claire's husband (Kiefer Sutherland) is something of an astronomy buff who is constantly trying to reassure his wife that there is nothing to be worried about. 


Frankly, to sit back and try to explain any more of this exceptional piece of art, would be a fool's game, Melancholia must be experienced to be appreciated.    That said, this is not the kind of film one can watch with distractions, it is slow and deliberate and was made for an audience who want more than cheap thrills and CGI.  If that sounds like you, give yourself over to Melancholia, in spite of everything, I think you will be glad that you did. 

10/27/11

Back by Popular Demand: THE TRUTH ABOUT CANDY CORN!

Halloween is almost here, and while that means all your fave horror bloggers will be falling all over themselves cooking up posts about favorite monsters, movies, screams and scares, I'd like to ring in the season by paying homage to that confectionery delight that is highlighted this time of the year: Candy Corn...read on and learn.

Anyone who does not like candy corn, can not be trusted! -- Pax Romano


While some sources claim that candy corn was invented by George Renninger sometime in the 1800's; the true aficionado of this confectionery delicacy understands that it has been around since the dawn of time. Even the bible makes mention of it:

From the book of Genesis 002:666 -- And God said, "Let us now make the most fabulous foodstuff , and let us make it in shades of white and orange and yellow, and let us fill it with such sugary goodness it will make men's eyes roll back in their heads, and let us call it Candy Corn". And god made the candy corn, and saw that it was good.


Most of you know the important role that Candy Corn has played in history; the ancient Aztecs used it to trade for goods... the Greeks built several temples out of candy corn... the Romans paid their most prized servants with it who in turn used it to buy their freedom ... the Great Candy Corn Crusade was of course one of the most brutal battles of the middle ages ...and, of course, every school child remembers the story of the Cleveland Candy Corn Party.

During World War II, Candy Corn was in such demand by our troops in The Pacific, special operatives delivered the goodie in dangerous midnight runs -- maybe you read the book about these brave men, The Corn Runners, that was made into an Oscar winning film that starred Clark Gable and Betty Grable.


To truly understand what makes the tri-colored taste treat so special, one only need know the secret ingredients: see chart below



Fun Candy Corn Facts:


* Recently, the USDA has added Candy Corn to its food pyramid.

* Studies have shown that children who get at least three, six ounce, servings of Candy Corn daily, grow up to be well-adjusted, and do better in school than children who abstain from Candy Corn.

* Albert Einstein ate six bags of Candy Corn every day of his life!

* One kernel of Candy Corn has as much protein as a 15 ounce steak!

* During the month of October, some Catholic Churches replace the Communion bread with a special Host shaped piece of Candy Corn.


Finally, if you want to drink your daily dose of Candy Corn: try a Candy Corn Margarita!

10/23/11

Trouble in Mind : RESURRECT DEAD

Amusing, engrossing, and authentic, Jon Foy's Resurrect Dead is a documentary film that follows three intrepid fellows who try to track down the person (or persons) behind the infestation of hundreds of tiles embedded in the streets of a dozen American cities (as well as a handful in South America).  Said tiles contain an obtuse message that references Stanly Kubrick's 2001 A Space Odyssey as well as a peculiar theory of how to raise the dead from  British Historian, Arnold Toynbee.  Most of the tiles read:

" Toynbee Idea
In Movie 2001
Resurrect Dead
On Planet Jupiter" 

Lead by the charismatic, if somewhat eccentric, Justin Duerr, our makeshift Hardy Boys (Duerr, Colin Smith and Steve Weinik) scour the internet to come up with something - anything - that might help them discover the identity of the Tile Master.  One of the more disturbing pieces they come up with is a unique tile which refrains from the usual Toynbee message and instead reads like some sort of bizarre manifesto.  Indeed, the rantings reveal someone who might not only be suffering from paranoid delusions, but is also an Anti-Semite.  Be that as it may, eventually several names come up as well as an address that leads the trio to a row-home in South Philadelphia where the investigators engage several of the colorful locals as to the whereabouts and comings and goings of one particularly odd neighbor.  

Eventually, the guys come across several other fascinating leads including a brief mention in Clark DeLeon's column in The Philadelphia Inquirer as to who the Tile Master may be; a local who insists that his television once broadcast strange messages about the Toynbee theory; a one act play by David Mamet called Four A.M. (that may have been inspired by an actual phone call that the Tile Master made to a radio talk show) ; and  a possible theory as to how this guy manages to implant tiles onto busy streets (include one right outside the Holland Tunnel in New York City), with out being seen.

Ultimately, Resurrect the Dead is a story about the obsession with ideas that not only possess the troubled mind of one lonely man in South Philadelphia, but also how that obsession can transfer itself to those who want to know more about the man and what drove him to that obsession in the first place.