9/27/09

More of the Best Bare Chests in Horror: Horror Movie Hunks II

Everyone knows that horror films are overflowing with comely lasses and their heaving bosoms. Women in flimsy night gowns running through the mist, taking showers at out-of-the-way motels, or maybe just showing up naked because, well, let's face it, sex sells! If you are a straight male, your needs have more than been met in scare cinema.

But what about the rest of us? Gay men, straight women? What about our needs?

Glad you asked. Submitted for your approval, here are more bare chested Horror Movie Hunks to ogle, Gentlemen, remove your shirts!

***
Let's start today's meal with something light, a buffet of boyish buffness...and for that we must turn to the men of The Covenant. Clearly, director Renny Harlin had been spending a lot of time watching the films of David DeCoteau as The Covenant is filled with sinewy, sexy twenty-somethings passing as teen high school students who spend an inordinate amount of time shirtless. No complaints about that, but as for the movie itself, well, it was pretty damn awful (some nonsense about this group of pretty boys will all become witches at the stroke of midnight on their 18th birthdays, or something like that). I really was not paying much attention to the plot, I was just waiting for another gratuitous skin shot.
***That's mega hunk, Ty Hardin as Frank Hawkins with some drag queen Joan Crawford in the film, Berserk. Frank is a tight rope walker in Joan's circus of death and he's also her boy toy. Considering that he had to play against the butchiness that was Crawford as Monica, as well as Diana Dors' rack, he did a great job. Oh, and he takes his shirt off whenever he gets a chance.
***Finally, who ordered this plate of beefcake in a fuzzy loin cloth? Oh, that's right, I did. He is Maxus (played by one of Mae West's fave body builder's Reg Lewis), the wandering warrior of Fire Monsters Against the Son of Hercules (aka Maciste contro i mostri ) who saves the king of some land from a tacky looking sea monster, and then spends the rest of the movie making out with local bimbos and flexing his muscles whilst waiting for the next beastie to emerge - all in all, not a bad gig.***


3 comments:

senski said...

Thanks, Pax. :-)

Now we just gotta get the gays together on a DVD release (as if the fact it's a Joan movie wasn't incentive enough)!

Ninja Dixon said...

I've seen hundreds of peplums, and finally I know why ;)

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