8/26/09

Baby Love: Lessons Learned from À l'intérieur

French nurses are creepy and crazy, and they smoke on maternity wards; that said...
...they are not as crazy and creepy as that woman smoking on your patio...
...the one who looks like Angelina Jolie meets Morticia Adams.
That crazy beyotch has one hell of an aim and throws scissors with an arm that could get her signed to a major league American baseball team!
The police, will be of no help.If your mother shows up, you'll probably think she's the crazy broad and stab her in the neck - oopsie!
Meanwhile, your editor will find himself stabbed in the crotch......as well as the face, neck, arse, hands, eyes and anywhere else that crazy beyotch cares to stab him. It might be a really good idea to stay locked in the bathroom, no matter who comes to the door at this point......then again, if you do open the door, a policeman will be there, and well, he'll have his head blown in half by crazy beyotch.When all else fails, find a can of aerosol and spray crazy beyotch as she goes to light a cigarette.Even if one of the police you thought was dead, rises up, zombie like, he'll still be of no help, in fact he'll probably attack you.Happily, crazy beyotch and her freshly barbecued face will rise up and put down zombie cop.And then, after you go into labor, crazy beyotch will do a low budget c-section on you and deliver your baby ... unfortunately, you will bleed to death.Motherhood, and this movie, ain't for the fainthearted.

5 comments:

Pax Romano said...

Alana,

Pretty much the same reaction.

Despite the buckets of blood and gore, it was still profoundly watchable. I don't think a film like this could have been made in America because they would have to have tacked on a "happy ending" and I am sure they would have wimped out on some of the more graphic scenes.

Like I said, this movie ain't for the fainthearted.

Star said...

sacrebleu!!! fainthearted? you ain't fuckin' kiddin'. it did not let up for a second and scared me to the point where i had the remote in hand, index finger on the scan button. (insert shudder here) i had to watch 'best in show' just to pull me out of my terrified trance.

Pax Romano said...

Star, told you so!

BJ Colangelo said...

I absolutely adore this film. It's insane but I can't look away...

Pax Romano said...

BJC, I understand - sort of like a ten car pile up that you crane your neck to watch.